so far......eh!

well, so far we've stuck to the diet except for one excursion out each that was bordering on whether or not it was within the new diet.  but here's the deal.......we don't have the book yet on what the actual diet is so we're making it up kind of.  we've pretty much figured out what the tenants are but don't have the whole theory book yet to fully grasp what we're getting into.  and we're easing in......part primal diet part south beach diet.  and we've been doing hour long walks with the pooches to get in a little more exercise so in all, good stuff!

we're already researching new recipes for veggies since they'll comprise a good percentage of the upcoming diet so send along any and all suggestions you have!

so far we're headed in the right direction (both have had some weight loss this week) but i'm curious to read the whole story of the primal diet to really get kick started on this journey!  so far Ryan's close to his 5lb goal for the week but i'm not so lucky.  here's hoping the weigh in on monday is more forgiving :)

best,
~danban

re-post but a good one

i came across this and thought it was a great thing to share and remember during this time of wedding planning and related parties.  it is true that you have to have some exclusivity but do have to remember that if it's not done in a mean-spirited way, then it's not cruel as you cannot invite everyone you know to everything wedding related.  i hope it helps anyone out there in a similar situation......

"I had an engagement party on Sunday. It went really well and everyone seemed to have a lot of fun. Now pictures and posts are starting to trickle onto Facebook and Google+ — and I'm watching with a combination of trepidation and interest.

The use of social media in modern-day event planning and celebrating is a relatively unexplored territory, short of making events and inviting people to them, marking them private or public, and waiting for the RSVPs to come in. Most of my friends keep their more formal, more intimate, or more serious gatherings off Facebook entirely; it seems to be the province of housewarmings, open birthday parties, drunken meet-ups, and house parties. Wedding invitations, funerals, bar and bat mitzvot, anniversary parties — all of these seem to be too formal for an event on Facebook, at least in my social group.

However, the post-party roundup seems to go un-addressed in a lot of modern etiquette discussions. Putting an album of pictures up on Facebook where friends who weren't invited to the party can see them? Deciding whether to post a status thanking your biggest helpers and supporters so they can get some community love? Handling how to address the people who were invited but didn't RSVP, or the people who weren't invited who feel like they should have been? None of these things are handled in advice columns.

I didn't think about how our guests would treat our party online. Pictures have been posted, people have been tagged, comments have been left, and there seems to be a small, but healthy, amount of chatter about the weekend's events (specifically around all the pretty henna which arose from it!). I certainly don't mind any of the sharing that's going on, but it's funny, in hindsight, to have thought that I could keep this party on the down-low to keep from ruffling any feathers.

We have to own that we're more complicated than friend requests and status updates and allow ourselves not to be ashamed of being exclusive, as long as our exclusivity isn't mean-spirited.

It's also funny to examine my own feelings as I watch the posts go live. I keep waiting to feel some kind of guilt or embarrassment about folks who weren't invited to the party seeing the pictures and such, but so far it hasn't happened. I look at the pictures from the party and realize that with a couple of exceptions, we've known every person in those pictures for more than two years — many of them have been friends with one or both of us longer than we've been together as a couple. Every single one of them will be invited to our wedding. We didn't invite all the people we're going to invite to our wedding, but doubtless we could double or triple the prospective wedding guest list and still have people left out who could be hurt by their exclusion.

We're blessed with a huge and diverse community of interesting, generous, kind people. The flip side of that blessing is that it can be hard to impose limitations on who comes to what event. Drawing the lines between acquaintances, friends, close friends, and family feels so judgmental, but is a requirement, not just logistically, but emotionally.

This is one of those things that social media (especially Facebook) handles so poorly — the idea that friends are friends are friends, with no variation, no hierarchy. It encourages a sense of discriminating or of being discriminated against, rather than an acceptance of what should be a completely normal fact — that we segregate our social groups into layers of intimacy every time we call someone up to chat, we accept an invitation to lunch or a party, we look at the instant message floating on our screen and decide to ignore it. Social media just makes that segregation more public.

In the age of online communication and digital relationships, we have to fight against social media's drive to simplify our relationships into something computers can understand. We have to own that we're more complicated than friend requests and status updates and allow ourselves not to be ashamed of being exclusive, as long as our exclusivity isn't mean-spirited. We have to remember that making a judgment call is not the same thing as being judgmental.

So, how am I dealing with the posts by other people on Facebook et al? I'm not, really. I'm not explaining, statusing, worrying, excusing, or wringing my hands. I'm certainly not apologizing. If anyone wants to bring it up with me, they're welcome to, and I'm happy to explain our choices. But I'm not going to lie to anyone about why we made those choices, least of all myself."

best,

~danban

new year......new goals

SO......just like everyone, i've gotten a bug up  my ass to really start moving and changing things around and this year will have a LOT of that packed into it!  we have set a wedding date and now we gots to get movin and shakin to get ready for 2013 and to start married life (yes, VERY weird to say that!)!!!

that being said, one goal i have is to hold myself accountable to those around me and myself even more than i do now.  one thing i pledge is to finally get my arse in gear to really get myself and my fiance healthy.  more and more his health becomes my concern as i expect him to be around a lot longer than his father was able. in order to accomplish that, we gots to get moving!  so, what you can expect from me is at least a weekly blog entry on what we accomplished that we to achieve that goal.  each of us needs to lose approx 50 lbs and eat way healthier!

secondly, what you can expect is that we are putting together a schedule of brewing as we need to get out of corporate america and build our own future.  once that schedule is in place we'll be setting up regular tastings so that our friends and family can help us achieve our goals.  you will be notified when we will require your "services"  :)

third, will be more wedding schtuffs and would LOVE input and inspiration from those around me!  we want to keep it simple, we want to keep it small, and we would love to keep it truly representing who we are!  more blog updates about this and some ideas soon......won't post all as some of it should be kept secret for the day of  :)

that's all i got for now but more to come soon......................

much love and a prosperous new year to you!
~danban

too much to say, too little time!

since posting last, there has been a TON that's changed in my world.  unfortunately, today is not the day to write it all out.  needless to say, i'll update more as i get a chance and i have a feeling this will be a great place to output thoughts on upcoming plans and nuptials :)  yes, that's right.....my nuptials.  (does anyone on the planet other than me hate that word btw?)

of course i'm super excited to be planning that but on top of it, i'm ridiculously excited to go celebrate the joining of my friends lisa and avery.  they have been two of my closest friends for over a decade and i cannot wait to go party harty with them on new year's :D  not only do i get to go party with them but i also get to see those nearest and dearest to me while there!  it's going to be a good holiday indeed :)

i hope you out there have a very merry Christmas if I don't get a chance to write again or say it in person!  it truly is the season for joy, thankfulness, and lots of love :)

yours ever more,
~danban

when old meets new

so we're getting closer and closer to our Indiana trip and i can't help but think that this is a seriously exciting time.  it's a time where my past meets my future and i can't wait!!  i love and miss my lisa and avery and all other bloomington crew!  i have no doubt that they'll love my choice in boyfriend as much as i do :)  it's still a little nerve wracking as i value their opinions very much and i'd be disappointed if they weren't as excited as i am.  but i have little doubt that will happen!

it's an odd place/situation i find myself in as it's never one i imagined i'd be in.  a good situation no doubt, just a little surreal to be planning these kinds of trips :)

i'm very excited to play tour guide through my college days and memories!  lots of good memories were made there and i'm sure we'll make more on this trip and the next!  i'll update after the trip to share how the adventure went :)

til then,
~danban

changes in the wind

well, there are some massive changes upcoming and some small changes and all i think are good :) in fact, i tend to thing that change is good in general! definitely opposite to what most people seem to think but.......i'm not most people.

it's interesting to me that even a small change can impact your day in unforeseen ways. for example, we painted the upstairs bathroom and hung a new mirror and every time i see those small changes, it makes me smile! now we're talking a total of maybe 4 hours worth of effort but it's been weeks worth of smiles........totally worth it!!

slightly larger change of local in the thought process which inspires lots of thoughts of further life changes which leads to the largest change of all which i won't post as it's far from official :)

needless to say, i'm excited about what's changed, what's being planned, and what i don't yet know the future holds. for now, i'll focus on beer and how it can change my world!

all for now.....

much love,

~danban

how did you think that was going to end?

had the most odd encounter with a neighbor and fellow dog owner last night and it's left me at a bit of a loss.

we were walking the dogs and hadn't gotten far after crossing the street when we had to stop cause jax had done his duty and we're good pet owners who clean after their dogs. i'd held the dogs in the grassy area to be out of the way of anyone on the side walk while ryan cleaned. the aforementioned neighbor begins walking past us with his corgy. ryan had seen them in the neighborhood before and mentioned that he didn't like his dog near other dogs so i attempted to ensure that our boys were on the far side of the grass from him.

apparently this wasn't sufficient as the neighbor stopped with his dog in front of me as jax jumped to go say hi and sniff the dog. he stopped to forcefully say, "you need to control your dog". to which i replied, "ummm i have control of him....thanks". he wasn't convinced as jax did jump forward a bit to sniff his dog and began repeatedly to tell me that i needed to admit he was out of control. at this point, i'm getting angry with the confrontation and don't appreciate the implication that i'm not a good pet owner and that jax is an out of control dog. so being a little childish i kept responding with "he's in control" over and over and over and over again.

ok i admit at this point i became really childish and said "bite me". i am still in shock about his reply which was to start yelling at me that i needed to walk over to where he was and he would bite me!! i don't remember my exact reply but i'm pretty sure it was along the lines of are you effing kidding me and you are a lunatic!! he then proceeded to tell me if he ever saw my dogs again he would kick them!! of course i told him if he touched my dogs i'd kick him so hard it would hurt me :) very protective pet owner that i am! of course after that he said something to the effect of "fcuk you" and finally walked away. of course as he's walking down the block he keeps stopping to look back though i'm not sure why.....

so what i don't get is 1. why he thought that confrontation necessary rather than just letting us know he was concerned or nervous when he was around jax as he attempts to go sniff his dog, 2. how in his head he thought that was going to turn out well unless he assumed i'd just politely apologize and see the error of my ways which proves he knows nothing about me and my inability to be kind to complete morons, 3. why in the hell he picked a fight with a 5'3 girl accompanied by 250lbs of massive dog and a boyfriend who is not a tiny person and that neighbor assumed that was ever going to work out in his favor, and 4. if he had managed to get me to wrastle with him, wtf he was going to do with his dog.....hand him over to ryan for jax to "get at him"?!?!?!

i mean holy shit dude......have you EVER used that tiny excuse for a brain ever in your assholish life?!?! there is no scenario i can think of that would have ever had that scene end well for him unless he is dumb enough to think i would have apologized for the error of my ways.

the only thing i can think of is that he may have been in a bad mood from the day, displaying a horrible attempt to kindly let me know that my dogs needed additional training, or he's really just a flaming moron/asshole.

the whole experience left me shocked and at a complete loss. i mean boone and jax are liked by all but one dog in the complex and that's not even this dude's corgy! they are trained though i'll admit that they need other dog socialization as they haven't had a lot of it. they are the kindest dogs i've ever met and are scared by damn near everything so are completely opposite of aggressive. it really kind of makes me anxious to walk them now which is another shame. i love walking them and will not let this douchebag ruin that but am not looking forward to ever meeting him again which is impossible as he lives in our complex or the one next to us. it makes me sad that he ruined what promised to be a great walk with the boys and that walking them isn't something i'm really looking forward to at the moment in case i do have to encounter him again. i still don't understand why he had such an outburst and why he was so angry. i mean i'd never spoken to him before in my life!

people like him sadden me as i'm always amazed that humanity can sink so lowly as to lash out at unsuspecting people for no reason other than your own amusement. what happened to do unto others? guess i'll never really know wtf went on with him but it hurts my heart and makes me sad.

all i can do at the moment is hug my boys and look forward to seeing boone huntin and jax wrastlin him to the ground :) the walks will always be joyful as long as i focus on them and the good company of ryan! so that's what i'm choosing to focus on!!

~danban