all around me are familiar faces
worn out places
worn out faces
bright and early for their daily races
going nowhere
going nowhere
it's the year's end and inspiration for reflection is all around. how do we make sense of the chaos of daily life? how do we find purpose in the small things, humor in the most unlikely of places, and the determination to make it through days doing chores that in the end really only result in a thought....an idea....just more data.... we forge through to find the "dream". we're searching for happiness but where have others found it? is it in your dreams? is it behind the couch? is it yet another idea or ideal held close to the heart?
we look for solace in relationships with others and through that within ourselves. but what happens when that person is no longer there? what happens when the shoulder you turned to is no where to be found? we're amazing creatures who change and adapt with our surroundings yet never seem to forget or forgive the past no matter how much we want to. so the question is, can you accept what has been and use it to create better things in the future? is that the dream or just a way to survive the passing days?
such questions and thoughts swirl through my brain and i answer some and leave others to ponder for another day. in the end, i know i choose to live life to the fullest i see fit and what works for me may not work for you. i hope that those who i love know it even if i don't say the words often enough. those who are no longer with me are always in my thoughts and the impact they've left will not be forgotten. this time of year is about love and hope......keep those things in your heart the whole year through and the days are more than bearable.....they're actually enjoyable.
~danban
12/22/08
12/2/08
my first official crash.....kind of.....
sunday i talked ryan into riding sleeping indian with myself, cynthia, coach bri, and melanie. this hill is one of two that have kicked my ass. this time i intended to bite back........little did i know i was in for an ass whoopin again! we start out from cindy's and it's too foggy to tackle the hill right away so we hit up the bike path and i blast away attempting to get my legs warm in the freezing ass morning air. i didn't actually realize i was going that fast until there was no one behind me and i figured i should tone it down a notch since my legs weren't actually warming up. i spun my way back down the bike path toward where we turned to get onto the route to sleeping indian and slowed my pace to re-group with the crew. at this point, my legs are warm but telling me that they are tired and that this may be a little more difficult of a ride than i thought.......ut oh!!
we head up sleeping indian and it begins......calf cramps.....oh goody!! so i make it up 3/4 of the first hill and have to stop cause i'm in serious pain. massaged the legs out for a moment and muscle on! up the hill i go again except i'm almost to the top when my front wheel hits the side of the curb, my right foot is unclipped, and i'm falling to the left......SHIT!! i somehow manage to maneuver myself up and around and over my bike so as not to actually land on it and end up banging the shit out of my legs (lots of insta bruises) and ripping the hell out of my tricep with my chain ring (no, a group of 4 scientists with a month couldn't figure out how the hell i managed all that)!!
i sprung up immedately since i didn't want to get hit by any car charging up the hill and struggle my way down to the driveway i'd left not too terribly long ago. first things first, i check my bike for any visible injuries........nothing springs to the eye so onto step two. check the wheels - are they spinning? NO! shit!! have to re-adjust the front and rear breaks and check the whells again - still problems! SHIT!! fuck it......get going up the hill again and make it to the very top (no, i'm not terribly bright apparently). i make it to the top and ryan's sitting on a rock waiting for my injured ass to tell him wtf i'd done and if we needed to call sag (cindy's husband).
ryan and i proceed to fix the front and back breaks and attempt to go on with the ride. two seconds after we start out again, i realize something is seriously wrong and rubbing on my front wheel. we climb back off the bikes and find that the front wheel is rubbing on the fork - BIG problem!! we re-adjust that and the front breaks yet again and my seat (cause it was seriously jacked up) and attempt to ride again. at this point my full borne stubbornness kicks in and i decide we're doing most of this fuckin ride cause i didn't go through the trouble of having my bike kick my ass and NOT get in a ride!! (sorry ryan!!) we hit some nice big rollers and i lost ryan a few times when his legs refused to go much further and eventually we turned around at mission and headed back. we got back to cindy's and i played ball with fletcher a bit before we headed out to get some food and laugh over the idiocy of the morning.
so, first official crash kind of........i mean it was more comical than most and less terrifying than a lot so i figure i got out pretty well unscathed all things considered!! i was mostly just bummed that i'd fucked with my bike and that i didn't actually get to ride with coach brian at all during the course of the morning. the good news is Eneko is fine with some new bartape and that i'm pretty well unscathed all things considered :0)
~danban
we head up sleeping indian and it begins......calf cramps.....oh goody!! so i make it up 3/4 of the first hill and have to stop cause i'm in serious pain. massaged the legs out for a moment and muscle on! up the hill i go again except i'm almost to the top when my front wheel hits the side of the curb, my right foot is unclipped, and i'm falling to the left......SHIT!! i somehow manage to maneuver myself up and around and over my bike so as not to actually land on it and end up banging the shit out of my legs (lots of insta bruises) and ripping the hell out of my tricep with my chain ring (no, a group of 4 scientists with a month couldn't figure out how the hell i managed all that)!!
i sprung up immedately since i didn't want to get hit by any car charging up the hill and struggle my way down to the driveway i'd left not too terribly long ago. first things first, i check my bike for any visible injuries........nothing springs to the eye so onto step two. check the wheels - are they spinning? NO! shit!! have to re-adjust the front and rear breaks and check the whells again - still problems! SHIT!! fuck it......get going up the hill again and make it to the very top (no, i'm not terribly bright apparently). i make it to the top and ryan's sitting on a rock waiting for my injured ass to tell him wtf i'd done and if we needed to call sag (cindy's husband).ryan and i proceed to fix the front and back breaks and attempt to go on with the ride. two seconds after we start out again, i realize something is seriously wrong and rubbing on my front wheel. we climb back off the bikes and find that the front wheel is rubbing on the fork - BIG problem!! we re-adjust that and the front breaks yet again and my seat (cause it was seriously jacked up) and attempt to ride again. at this point my full borne stubbornness kicks in and i decide we're doing most of this fuckin ride cause i didn't go through the trouble of having my bike kick my ass and NOT get in a ride!! (sorry ryan!!) we hit some nice big rollers and i lost ryan a few times when his legs refused to go much further and eventually we turned around at mission and headed back. we got back to cindy's and i played ball with fletcher a bit before we headed out to get some food and laugh over the idiocy of the morning.
so, first official crash kind of........i mean it was more comical than most and less terrifying than a lot so i figure i got out pretty well unscathed all things considered!! i was mostly just bummed that i'd fucked with my bike and that i didn't actually get to ride with coach brian at all during the course of the morning. the good news is Eneko is fine with some new bartape and that i'm pretty well unscathed all things considered :0)
~danban
11/21/08
total insanity.....count me in
this weekend was ironman arizona and i had several friends (including my coach) racing in it. katie b, myself, ryan, and jo all trekked out to tempe to watch and for some of us, consider what our own experience of an ironman might be like.......
to start, the four of us adamently agreed that arizona will not be in the cards for any of us anytime ever! the reason being that we went out to preview the loop and were bored out of our sculls!! i even spaced out for a bit, ended up slowing to a retarded gonna fall off my bike speed, and almost lost the crew on a straight flat road! it was VERY difficult to make ourselves keep going the 25 out and 25 back as we were just over it! and just to make matters a tiny bit worse, it was rediculiously dry out there!! long story short, we all agreed should anyone stupidly decide it is a good idea to sign up, the others of the group get to punch that person silly!!
the swim started in the water and was a thing not to be missed. 2400 people all treading water then BAM gun goes off and they all begin swimming like a gigantic sea creature with 4800 arms and legs! this start (affectionately called the washing machine by most triathletes) is not something i'm looking forward to. there are two philosophies of this type of start and how best to deal with it......1. get to the front of the pack and sprint then keep a steady (speedy) pace to stay ahead of most of the pack and 2. start toward the back and eventually make your way to the middle/front of the pack. i am all about #2 as i do not want to get crawled on top of by hundreds of stronger swimmers! there's no need to put myself through that. regardless, the swim start was amazing to see and inspired some serious thought.
i felt for the competitors as they were looping and looping through the bike course as i knew what a long boring course they had ahead of them. it was interesting to see the degredation of attitudes of those racing as they rounded for the second loop vs the third loop. i attempted to put myself in their shoes and continued to think of denner's blog about his ironman and came to the realization that a lot of them fell into the classic blunder of playing to the crowd and/or their own egos in that they kept pumping out some serious speed when the crowd was near. you could tell those who pushed too hard vs those who were taking their pace and settling into it. i think mentally, it would have been difficult to have done the three loops as you could see some people's spirit fall a bit when so many were going into t2 while they were going out for loop 3.
the run was a show of pure will and determination. i don't recall seeing very many people smile, in good spirits, or showing much emotion past pain. for the most part, the competitors were focused on the task at hand (keep moving one foot in front of the other) and didn't really pause to pay attention to anyone or anything outside of their own two feet. we cheered for almost everyone and got a couple of thank yous and a lot gratification for the fact that someone unknown to them believed that they really could do it. i know know how much more i need to focus on my running and ensure that i will be ready for this last and mos difficult battle in the quest to hear the announcer say "danban, you ARE an Ironman!"
talked to coach after he finished (a rockstar finish of just over 10 hours) and he asked if i have the ironman fever. i thought about it for a sec and told him that i'm considering 2010 and that i know i want to build my base, speed, and tolerance for the next year before committing to something so monstrous. he thought that was a phenomenal idea! so 2010...... maybe new zealand..... we shall see.........!!
~danban
11/20/08
what kind of friend?
this one was too good not to pass on to all of you.......my friends :0)
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple fri end brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.
Today I pass this on to you.. Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you..
When you are down to nothing ....
God is up to something.
'Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.'
~danban
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple fri end brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.
Today I pass this on to you.. Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you..
When you are down to nothing ....
God is up to something.
'Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.'
~danban
11/18/08
ramping up
well, i've been slacking on the training as of late. of course i have plenty of excuses.....sarah was in town, i've been sick, attempting to find a new roommie, etc. ..... but it's time that i'm pulling myself out of excuse land and into training world once again. so yesterday was my day off, tonight is weights, tomorrow is at least an hour on the bike, and the schedule just gets better from there! i'm actually excited to be getting back into training and this week is the perfect week to do it cause IM AZ is this weekend and a crew of us are going to cheer some friends on during this amazing adventure!!
yesterday i sent off my $$ to my nutritionist and i'm excited to see what she's got planned for me! my friends cindy and marty have used this person and highly recommend her services and the benefits they have seen from working with her. i know to get faster, one of the things i need to focus on is slimming down and gaining leaner muscle mass. i also know i'm ready to slim down again as i've added some off season pounds that i am NOT happy about.
regardless.......training is back on with a vengeance and you are more than welcome to join should you have the incliation. just let me know!!
~danban
yesterday i sent off my $$ to my nutritionist and i'm excited to see what she's got planned for me! my friends cindy and marty have used this person and highly recommend her services and the benefits they have seen from working with her. i know to get faster, one of the things i need to focus on is slimming down and gaining leaner muscle mass. i also know i'm ready to slim down again as i've added some off season pounds that i am NOT happy about.
regardless.......training is back on with a vengeance and you are more than welcome to join should you have the incliation. just let me know!!~danban
11/14/08
29th b-day shenanigans
note: this is only a recap because the full story would take FAR too long to actually write out :0)
it all started on thurs with a girls night at cindy's. the crew included: me, sarah, cindy, melissa, lj, michele b, iris, sarah b, kim, and ali. we all chipped in on the potluck dinner and many a drink were made from bloody mary to a modified mimosa called "the iris". i got a few kick ass gifts and many memories from this crew on this particular night. to say the least, we danced in the living room and hit up the hot tub before turning in for the night. brian and fletcher were the lucky men of the night as they were the only males amongst the crew!
friday night consisted of sarah and i trekking up to visit katie shoe in seal beach. we got there somewhere around 9ish and chilled at her and jb's pad for a bottle o beer before heading out on the town. we cruised to a wine bar first where we promptly were told that they were at last call. we downed a bottle between the four of us and cruised onto a bar that had only local microbrews. we were again told that they were at last call so we quickly ordered beers and enjoyed the general malarchy of the crew there.we made an interesting friend we'll just call "the hippy" and decided to move on again. at this point we were convinced that every place we hit we were going to hit last call!! the last place we hit up had such a diverse mix of people that we didn't feel bad seriously standing out by creating a dance floor in our area of the bar!! we danced to journey, pussy cat dolls, and just about everything else. eventually the hippy joined us and we proceeded to attempt to get away from him for the rest of the night which didn't work AT ALL. he followed us back to the apt (again after last call) and sarah and i prompty hid in katie shoe's closet where we proceeded to try on all her shoes til she brought us a bottle of wine and jb kicked the hippy out!! we watched horrible tv and fell asleep soon after the hippy left.
saturday morning we lazed around and eventually headed to brunch (without jb who slept til at least noon). we had a few mimosas and decided to stick around for a round of the most alcoholic margaritas in california!! we hit up the beach and eventually headed back to sd after many hugs with katie shoe and jb. we hit my place and had to shower and leave asap cause we'd lingered in seal beach too long. we head to tango to see paula and have a glass or two of vino before dick's. we ran into matty and crew, diane and jess, keoni and myrachel, and bg. after paying up, we headed to dick's to meet up with the crew for the night. of course, there were not as many show as had promised and we ended up with 22ish total with only 16 chairs so we ghettofied dick's by adding random chairs to the end of the table. lots of food, drinks, a blow job shot, papers being thrown, paper hats for bg and ry, and laughs later we headed out to the local to get our dance on. we lost a few and gained one on the wayto the local (those who wanted to go home and sleep......boooo to you!). we danced til the club closed and had some serious fun!! we said our goodbyes and ended the night with lots o jokes and laughs. we walked back to marty's car in the rain and headed up to my place for a final glass of vino and some good chats. finally at 4:30 in the morning......like a true rockstar......i hit the pillow and slept!
sunday was a true day of laziness and we watched like 1400 hours of movies with matty and barely moved off the couch in true recovery mode. no alcohol hit our lips that day and we begain to feel a bit ill (stupid sinus infection). it was nice to not have any major priorities and be able to sit in pj pants for the entirety of the day. we did hit up panera eventually and i hit the hay around midnight (don't worry - i napped throughout the day too).
monday i had to go teach a class in aliso viejo and my phone blew off the hook the entire day. my class even begged for me to answer when my mom called so they could hear her sing happy b-day!! birthday night we hit up tomiko for dinner but not before sarah and i enjoyed a bottle of vino from Oliver (sniiiiiifffffff). chris, paula, diane, jess, two of chris's friends, ryan, brian, sarah, and the filpi's made up the crew for dinner and i couldn't have asked for more!! it was a great night filled with sake, martinis, and my signature guinness! nancy picked up our appetizers and my guinness and posed for a pic with me. ryan and bri came back to the apt with sarah and i and we forced them to watch arrested d (which we quoted every line!!)!! i ended up practically passing out in my chair (from exhaustion not alcoholism) and went to sleep again around 12. talk about a stellar b-day!!
tues sarah and i headed to la jolla to see the cove and shores then up to las olas for dinner. it was another nice and relaxing evening and was fun to hang with matty when we got back. again, i almost passed out in the papazan (exhaustion again) and was really beginning to feel the ill coming on.
wed iris insisted that we go out for our own sushi dinner at her fav place in rancho bernardo (or one of the bernardos) and asked ry and bri to join. we hit up the sushi joint (after perusing a sporting good store) and had some very interesting pieces of sushi!! sarah got called a teenager and a falling chopstick (chopstick fall down and go boom!), she was treated to the kid's version of chopsticks, and we all had sake laughed our butts off! we played worst case scenario game back at iris's and had a fabulous night!
all in all, GREAT b-day people :0)
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
~danban
it all started on thurs with a girls night at cindy's. the crew included: me, sarah, cindy, melissa, lj, michele b, iris, sarah b, kim, and ali. we all chipped in on the potluck dinner and many a drink were made from bloody mary to a modified mimosa called "the iris". i got a few kick ass gifts and many memories from this crew on this particular night. to say the least, we danced in the living room and hit up the hot tub before turning in for the night. brian and fletcher were the lucky men of the night as they were the only males amongst the crew!
friday night consisted of sarah and i trekking up to visit katie shoe in seal beach. we got there somewhere around 9ish and chilled at her and jb's pad for a bottle o beer before heading out on the town. we cruised to a wine bar first where we promptly were told that they were at last call. we downed a bottle between the four of us and cruised onto a bar that had only local microbrews. we were again told that they were at last call so we quickly ordered beers and enjoyed the general malarchy of the crew there.we made an interesting friend we'll just call "the hippy" and decided to move on again. at this point we were convinced that every place we hit we were going to hit last call!! the last place we hit up had such a diverse mix of people that we didn't feel bad seriously standing out by creating a dance floor in our area of the bar!! we danced to journey, pussy cat dolls, and just about everything else. eventually the hippy joined us and we proceeded to attempt to get away from him for the rest of the night which didn't work AT ALL. he followed us back to the apt (again after last call) and sarah and i prompty hid in katie shoe's closet where we proceeded to try on all her shoes til she brought us a bottle of wine and jb kicked the hippy out!! we watched horrible tv and fell asleep soon after the hippy left.
saturday morning we lazed around and eventually headed to brunch (without jb who slept til at least noon). we had a few mimosas and decided to stick around for a round of the most alcoholic margaritas in california!! we hit up the beach and eventually headed back to sd after many hugs with katie shoe and jb. we hit my place and had to shower and leave asap cause we'd lingered in seal beach too long. we head to tango to see paula and have a glass or two of vino before dick's. we ran into matty and crew, diane and jess, keoni and myrachel, and bg. after paying up, we headed to dick's to meet up with the crew for the night. of course, there were not as many show as had promised and we ended up with 22ish total with only 16 chairs so we ghettofied dick's by adding random chairs to the end of the table. lots of food, drinks, a blow job shot, papers being thrown, paper hats for bg and ry, and laughs later we headed out to the local to get our dance on. we lost a few and gained one on the wayto the local (those who wanted to go home and sleep......boooo to you!). we danced til the club closed and had some serious fun!! we said our goodbyes and ended the night with lots o jokes and laughs. we walked back to marty's car in the rain and headed up to my place for a final glass of vino and some good chats. finally at 4:30 in the morning......like a true rockstar......i hit the pillow and slept!
sunday was a true day of laziness and we watched like 1400 hours of movies with matty and barely moved off the couch in true recovery mode. no alcohol hit our lips that day and we begain to feel a bit ill (stupid sinus infection). it was nice to not have any major priorities and be able to sit in pj pants for the entirety of the day. we did hit up panera eventually and i hit the hay around midnight (don't worry - i napped throughout the day too).
monday i had to go teach a class in aliso viejo and my phone blew off the hook the entire day. my class even begged for me to answer when my mom called so they could hear her sing happy b-day!! birthday night we hit up tomiko for dinner but not before sarah and i enjoyed a bottle of vino from Oliver (sniiiiiifffffff). chris, paula, diane, jess, two of chris's friends, ryan, brian, sarah, and the filpi's made up the crew for dinner and i couldn't have asked for more!! it was a great night filled with sake, martinis, and my signature guinness! nancy picked up our appetizers and my guinness and posed for a pic with me. ryan and bri came back to the apt with sarah and i and we forced them to watch arrested d (which we quoted every line!!)!! i ended up practically passing out in my chair (from exhaustion not alcoholism) and went to sleep again around 12. talk about a stellar b-day!!
tues sarah and i headed to la jolla to see the cove and shores then up to las olas for dinner. it was another nice and relaxing evening and was fun to hang with matty when we got back. again, i almost passed out in the papazan (exhaustion again) and was really beginning to feel the ill coming on.
wed iris insisted that we go out for our own sushi dinner at her fav place in rancho bernardo (or one of the bernardos) and asked ry and bri to join. we hit up the sushi joint (after perusing a sporting good store) and had some very interesting pieces of sushi!! sarah got called a teenager and a falling chopstick (chopstick fall down and go boom!), she was treated to the kid's version of chopsticks, and we all had sake laughed our butts off! we played worst case scenario game back at iris's and had a fabulous night!
all in all, GREAT b-day people :0)
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
~danban
11/6/08
who holds your past?
last night my best friend, sarah, came into town from her new home-town of Chicago and i couldn't have been happier! we sat and chatted about times of craziness and hilarity in our past. the memories of the past reminded me of this past trip to Indiana when i was sitting on lisa and avery's roof hanging with some of my old college crew. it made me think of kind of an odd thought which is that these people ...... these wonderful people ..... hold pieces of my past and who i was on the road to becoming who i am today. and it's just as true that i hold pieces of their history that lead to the amazing people they are today. in essentials, we're unchanged yet our experiences since those times have transformed the way we live our every day lives. i am forever greatful that these people were in my life and blessed that they still are enriching my life on an ongoing basis. there aren't thanks enough for these sacred few who know so much about who i was, who i am, and dreams of who i will become.at the same time i cannot keep from my thoughts those who are currently helping to build more memories of outrageous times and adventures.
these people are also helping me to build who i am becoming and by spending time with these people, i am in turn impacting their lives in ways that i sometimes don't even begin to comprehend. for those who put up with me on an ongoing basis currently, i am amazed by your patience, humor, strength, determination, and motivation to continue to push forward with your dreams and goals with such zeal! you are the people who inspire me to want to enrich my own life just that much more!!anyway, random thoughts floating around in my brain since sarah's arrival and just thought they needed to be jotted down. a HUGE thanks to all of you out there who are my friends and who bless my existance by just being you :0)
much love,
~danban
11/4/08
appreciate the privilege
once every four years we're given the opportunity to attempt to have our voices heard. it's interesting to me how the process has changed and been interpreted over time yet the government still attempts to give us a voice. i know that in the past the people of my generation have given up on the government and their privilege to vote but i haven't. this race was an odd one with the candidates running for two years which inspired a lot of people to show up to the polls this election day. i'm glad that something has finally inspired this nation to stand up and at least attempt to have their voices heard even if neither of the candidates are particularly appealing. at least something has gotten my generation off their butts and into those booths to speak. i hope that those of you who take the time to bother to read my ramblings share my view point and move your behind to your local polling location. if you haven't yet, there's still time people so MOVE IT!! it doesn't matter what you believe or who you believe in.......just have your voices heard no matter how weak or strong you believe that to be.~danban
10/31/08
trick or treat :0)
i don't know about you, but halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. it's the time where people get to go back to the roots of what it's like to be a kid.....well, a large kid in a small costume drinking entirely too much booze but ya get my point. people let go of all the crap they've been holding onto and for one night they act like adolescents! and there are those who go out with kids trick or treating and get to see the pure joy that children have wandering around neighborhoods collecting candy, spending time with friends, and seeing a myriad of costumes that are kept in closets the rest of the year through. it's a fun time to see the wilder side of those we know and see on a daily or somewhat regular basis. 
it's a time to see what their dreams are or were, a time to see what they wanted to be when they grew up, a time to see what they still want to be when they grow up, and a time to see people for all intensive purposes with much much much fewer inhibitions than almost every other day of the year. so, enjoy the day and the night for what it is and what it should be.....a TON of fun :0)~danban
10/30/08
kalyn
wild they grow
alone and resilient
self-reliance is merely
the lie they tell themselves
together they find
beauty and love
in each other
and within themselves
~danban
alone and resilient
self-reliance is merely
the lie they tell themselves
together they find
beauty and love
in each other
and within themselves
~danban
10/28/08
need your input.........
ok so taking a quick poll to see what those of you out there who do read my ramblings thing of my new tattoo idea.......
i'm gonna request the artist add in a fourth leaf and remove the grey swirley thing.......
thinking about getting it in between my shoulder blades.....
SO - what do ya think about it and where i'm thinkin of stickin it?
~danban
i'm gonna request the artist add in a fourth leaf and remove the grey swirley thing.......thinking about getting it in between my shoulder blades.....
SO - what do ya think about it and where i'm thinkin of stickin it?
~danban
10/24/08
my last twenty something birthday
well, it's that time of year again.......the celebration of the day the danban was born. and this one is going to be interesting cause it's going to be my LAST twenty something birthday. it inspires reflection on what it is that i've accomplished throughout my last 28 years and here's a short list:
it's definitely a time of reflection for me.......ya know, getting old and all :0) i am very blessed to have surrounded myself with the quality of people that are in my life. there's a saying about how you surround yourself with people who are reflections of yourself and i like to think that is true cause they kick ass which means i kick ass too!! regardless of how you slice it, life is good my friends! thank you all for contributing to the chaos, malarkey, memories, great times, shenanigans, trouble, laughs, tears, and smiles throughout it all!
LOVE YOU!!!!
~danban
- two half ironman races
- too many to count olympic distance tri's
- marathon training with a 22 mile run in there somewhere
- too many to count half marathons
- jumped out of two perfectly good airplanes
- raised thousands for leukemia research
- financially independent with no real debt to speak of
- own a kick ass car (love my MINI)
- own a kick ass tri bike (love my Guru)
- BEST team leader for PLD team #17 ripple effects
- supportive of my friends and family
- have a very loving and supportive group of friends and family (biological and adopted)
- am very successful at a job that i actually truly do enjoy
- traveled for months throughout western europe and loved every second of it
it's definitely a time of reflection for me.......ya know, getting old and all :0) i am very blessed to have surrounded myself with the quality of people that are in my life. there's a saying about how you surround yourself with people who are reflections of yourself and i like to think that is true cause they kick ass which means i kick ass too!! regardless of how you slice it, life is good my friends! thank you all for contributing to the chaos, malarkey, memories, great times, shenanigans, trouble, laughs, tears, and smiles throughout it all!
LOVE YOU!!!!~danban
10/10/08
suggestion
be sure to check out katie b's post about the highlights of our trip - HILARIOUS!!!!
and check out ryan's post about it - short, sweet, and hilarious!!!
and check out ryan's post about it - short, sweet, and hilarious!!!
10/9/08
long and horny in san diego
hey i figure if we didn't get to be team long and horny in san diego then i might as well use our original team name for my race report and weekend update :0)
we set out from bri's house on thurs afternoon to hit up some food before heading our merry way to Tx for longhorn weekend. i was in a foul mood and the boys were kind enough to ignore my mood and continue on with the sarcastic comments until i couldn't help but join in! getting through the security line and checking in bags was far faster than we thought so we ended up goofing off in the terminal for a while before boarding. i sat next to ryan on the plane ride over and paul got to sit between bri and this dude who was large and in charge and insisted on sitting next to paul after questioning bri's story of saving the seat for someone. seriously hilarious!! anyway, had some good conversations with ryan and got some work done while listning to the new flogging molly albums ryan had given to me so all in all, good flight!
we get into Tx and there at the bottom of the escalators is katie b, momma brunner, and clara fay looking sleepy eyed but happy to see the lot of us. we chat a little, grab our bags, and hit the cars to find the hungry triathletes some food (cause we're always hungry!). we hit up taco bell - no, i didn't think it was such a great idea, and attempted to scarf our food asap so we weren't keeping katie b and fam waiting to guard our stuff too long. yes, it was apparently a neighborhood you don't just leave open luggage out for people to steal! we get out to bfe and the boys put their gear in the camper and head to the house where we meet mr. brunner and have a beer or two before hittin the hay.
friday turned out to be a lazy lazy lazy day for us that started with taco surprise - namely so because you never knew what kind of taco you were going to get when you plucked one out of the bag! we checked email, hung around, watched the new charlie and the choclate factory and eventually worked up the enthusiasm to go for a swim at the lake. the water was nice but NOT buoyant whatsoever! oh how we missed our wetsuits as we were struggling to tread water without salt to carry us to the top! after a short swim, we showered and went to greet tim who had just driven up from his new place in the south of austin. mr. b fried up some fish and okra for us for dinner and the 5 of us (paul, ryan, bri, tim, and myself) ended up drinking three 12 packs of shiner before hitting the hay! what can i say, we were carb loading :0) katie b got a little annoyed with us as she was attempting to solidify our plans for the next day but all we could focus on were our "special" needs :D
saturday was a different beast altogether! we got up early-ish to get out and going since we had a lot to be done before race morning prep at the hotel. we pulled ourselves together and marched out of the brunner house with our barney butter shirts on to get ourselves ready for the race. an hour and a half ish later we are at tim's new pad where we load our bikes so that we can haul them to the race site. we park the truck at race site (after tim banged a new hole in the budget rental) and headed to the expo. none of us were terribly impressed by the expo (it was tiny) but i did find the most beautiful tri bag and immediately bought it!! yes, i finally own a bona fide tri bag - guess i'm gettin serious about the sport! paul was a huge sweetie and bought us towls and we all grabbed some other t-shirts and schwag and all in all we made out like bandits!
we headed back to the race site to get our bikes prepped and racked for the race. tons of pics later (espcially by the "special needs" sign) we loaded up into the jeep and off we went to preview the course. this prooved to be no small feat as there were little to no street signs on the roads and we had to dodge all the potholes and rough road to find our way through the 56 miles we were to ride the next day. most of the terrible spots were highlighted in yellow paint but seriously, i was concerned about the rough pavement and the technicality of the road (lots o sharp turns). eventually we got ourselves good and lost enough that even the boys were willing to stop and ask for directions. here, i'll divert to ryan's explanation of our quest to find our way as he describes it so well:
We flagged down a lady who was out jogging and asked her how to get to Blake-manor Road, which would lead us to civilization, and most importantly, to dinner.
US: Excuse us, how do we get to Blake-manor Road?
Lady: Blake Manor road?
Us: Yes, please.
Lady: Well, you're on Ann Showers. Just keep going a couple miles and turn left on Damita Jo (ed. note: I am not making these street names up. the directions really did sound like a bad porn script.) So you turn left on Damita Jo, keep your doors locked, and (ed. note: the transcript ends here, because the SoCal city kids all pooped themselves.)
you can correctly guess that since i'm writing this post, that we kept our windows rolled up and our doors locked and sped as quickly as we could out of the backwoods of Tx that promised to swallow us whole! after our little adventure, we gave up on the rest of the course preview and decided to head to the hotel so we could get the crew gathered for dinner. after attempting to u-turn on the interstate (dont' ask), we made our way to the hotel and eventually to papadeaux's. now i wouldn't recommend eating cajun food for a pre-race meal, but that's exactly what we did! full tummies later and we hit our hotel to ensure that we were fully stocked and ready to rock the next morning at 4:30 am. i packed my beautiful new tri bag and eventually headed to a somewhat sleepless night next to tim. as all racers, i couldn't sleep for fear of missing something in my tri bag, not waking up on time, etc etc etc. sooner than i wished, race morning rolled 'round and like it or not we all got up and got ready for our race.
race morning:
i crawl out of bed and into my tri gear with my eyes as close to closed as they could possibly remain. grabbed my well packed gear and headed down to bri and ry's room to get some breakfast. the boys were barely up and their eyes managed to be more closed than mine! (i'm pretty sure ryan mastered the art of sleeping while meandering about) i threw some barney butter on my multi grain bread with some bananas and sat silently eating until katie b in her shining glory burst into song and into the room. not amused, i'm thinking "you need to shut up so i can at least have a pretense of still sleeping" but eventually her enthusiasm rubbed off on all of us and we finally woke up.
the trip to the race site wasn't bad and we got there in plenty of time to get our transition areas together. i spent some time with bg and with katie b but most of my time that morning was spent with tim. we walked back and forth to the truck a few times (the budget was still there for us) and eventually went on our pre-race warmup run. i finished my carbo pro and felt like i should have finished it sooner as my tummy was full. i grabbed the last of my stuff, made a last port-o-potty stop, and threw my post race clothes into the truck. by this point i'm alone and wandering to the start. i made it to the start as the first wave (bg's) goes off and i wander around looking for a friendly face and attempted to hide my belly (as i only had my tri bra on - the barney butter jersey has pockets and would've created a LOT of drag).
swim:
my wave went off and i was close to the back of the pack as i'm not a terribly strong swimmer. i allowed myself to go slowly at first so i could warm up my arms (stupid me didn't get in a pre-race warmup swim). there were a few people around me but i mostly stuck behind one girl and drafted her for a bit. eventually the next wave of people (men) caught up as the waves were only 3 mins apart and i got slighly pummled. i dunno why faster swimmers find it necessary to draft off of you then crawl over you in order to pass you. seriously - is it necessary when i obviously pose no threat to you breaking some sort of world record? i mean, i'd love to get out of your way but since i'm in front, i have NO clue you're there so PLEASE don't take it personally and set out for revenge. i'll gladly move as soon as i know you're attempting to tear off my timing chip!! anyway, the swim continue thus as a few more waves caught me and pummled me and i drafted off the same girl for most of the swim. it didn't feel terribly long or terribly short and i even had a nice burst of speed for what i considered the home stretch which is just past the second bouy that takes you on a straight away toward the swim finish. i felt pretty good exiting the water and kept looking for my super sherpa and the brunners. just before the transition area, i hear paul screaming "dana - look at me - dana - look at me!!"!! cracked me up and i had a smile on my face as i entered t1.
t1:
ran to my isle (between f and g - i remember cause i kept thinking fuckin go!) and look down to my transition mat and low and behold there are already goggles and a cap there. i got confused for a second and thought "i don't think i've already been here" then realized they weren't mine and someone around me had just plunked her stuff on my mat. i got over it really quickly and threw on my sunglasses, barney butter jersey, bike shoes, and helmet. ran toward the opposite end of the transition area and off to the bike course/obstacle course.
bike:
off i go and people are passing me left and right and i'm passing people (on the left of course!) all the while spinning and attempting to warm my legs up slowly but thoroughly for the challenge ahead. i was immediately glad that we'd trekked out to find the course (well as much as we could) cause i knew exactly where to slow and how to gear. this came in very handy when i hit one 90 degree right turn that went directly up a sharp but short hill. as we're approaching the hill, you can hear the volunteers yelling "slow - turn head. slow - bikers down"! wait......WHAT? yes, that's right bikers down!!!! i turned and saw 5 bikers down on the road and their friends stopped beside them yelling encouragement, other bikers having to go over the center line to avoid the downed bikers, some bikers having to traverse around rolling water bottles, and the whole thing seemed like a hilarious circus to me at that moment. i giggled, prepped my bike to shift easily up the hill, and powered up out of my saddle and put the whole carnival ride behind me.
all in all, the ride was very techincal, very pretty, and very much like an exterra race. there was at least on part of the course that i came upon that had a whole litter of 30 water bottles down so i knew immediately i had to slow or risk losing my own or my tires! speaking of - there were dozens of riders off to the side of the road with flat tires. some attempted to change their own and some just sat and waited for the mavic truck to show. the course also had some seriously rough road that would put my personal toyz to shame!!!! by the end of the bike, i was screaming at my aero bottle cause the bumps in the road were causing the lid to one of the containers to flop open. i think i freaked some bikers out cause i was yelling and hitting it until it stopped popping open! :D
another thing to note on this course was the complete lack of biking ediquette and rules displayed by those "competing" beside myself. i mean it was seriously sad to see......gu wrappers thrown on the ground, power bar wrappers tossed aside, water bottles by the numbers strewn around the course, and bikers riding in widths of up to 4. people were drafting left and right and it was hard to not be penalized on the course with the cluster fuck that people were causing by cruising next to their friends while chatting. i was utterly disappointed in those around me and their lack of race day ediquette.
in the end, ryan passed me and we hit the last two hills (where quadzilla resided) and rode into the bike dismount area. it was difficult to spin and loosen my legs for the run as the two hills were decently substantial and required some work to get to the top. i got in as much spinning and allowed as many people as possible to pass me while getting my legs ready for the run. during the ride i'd gotten in 4 gu's, 1 bottle of carbo pro, 1 bottle of ultima, and 5 salt tabs and i figured that was good to carry me through the run......boy was i wrong!
t2:
i had no major problems with t2 and didn't find any further gear that didn't belong to me in my spot. i did have a little difficulty finding the holder for my run bottle as someone had tossed it to the other side of the rack and i had to attempt to grab it without knocking over all the bikes on the rack (including my prescious Guru). i felt decent and was ready to hit the pavement (and dirt) for the run ahead.
run:
started off pretty well as i caught ryan and ran with him for a bit but by the secondish aid station (past the disco dancers) i headed off on my own. i started feeling just tired and achy at first. i mean like "i'm over this and ready for a nap" kind of tired which is not good considering around mile 4 i seriously considered stopping for a nap on the side of the road! i ran past the barney butter tail gate area and was greeted with a few cheers as i made my way toward quadzilla. i walked a few of the uphills until i'd hit quadzilla and then i seriously was brought down to a very pathetically slow walk as it was steep and my legs and body were starting to consider giving out on me. my legs were beginning to hurt because i'd allowed myself to walk too much and my knees were catching onto the fact that they were not happy with me in the least. my body was reacting badly because of the lack of water which has til now been so prevalent on my bikes and was not terribly well present that day. huge mistake on my part.
i get to the top of quadzilla and run into tim and start running with him for a bit til i feel like it's er time for the pr/er combo. i slow back to a walk and have 2 salt tabs and a gu. keep on walkin, takin water in, and putting cold sponges on my head to cool myself off. walking down hill toward the disco twins for the second time was my most dismal moment as i seriously felt that i wanted to curl up on the side of the pavement and pass the eff out. the only thing that kept me going (so not kidding) was the thought that i'd gotten that far and wouldn't get my finisher's metal. i kept my body going and ran into bg as he was heading toward mile 10 and i toward mile 8. i mumbled something about how terrible i felt and had to keep moving or i wouldn't make it and he looked at me with such concern and pity i left and kept on walkin. i figured i was in pretty bad shape at that point so i found the nearest port-o-potty and took a little pit stop to cool off and regain my bearings.
as i head back out on the "run" ryan catches up to me and we walk to what was the 2 mile turn around (i forget how far it is on the 2nd loop) where the saloon aid station was. we jog for a little while after that and i begin to feel a bit better (though seriously still delirious) and i am VERY blessed for the company. we eventually passed our team barney butter tail gate again and i think everyone thought i'd gone insane at that point as i'm screaming "where's my sherpa?? i want a beer!!!!" we continue on with our walk/run/walk/walk/shuffle/run/shuffle/walk routine while attempting to get me in under 7 hours. then we bargain that it's gotta be under my vineman time. shot that out of the water too and just bargained that i'd finish! he seriously was a huge part of the reason i was able to make it to the finish line that day and for that i am grateful!! thanks ryan :0) we run the last .1 to the finish line and get our pics taken just as ryan's legs fully give out on him and i'm screaming for my post race beer!!!! we find our teammates, have a beer, take a group pic and head off for food, shade, and beer.
the official stats:
post race:
we had some seriously good fajitas (courtesy of mr. b) champagne, and beer and relaxed util a volunteer told us we had to move our stuff from the transition area. we eventually head back to the hotel for showers, bike packing, relaxing, and of course foooooooood! we didn't end up heading out of the hotel and that turned out ok by me (well, katie b headed out for dinner but came back for some hang out time).
it was a great day even with the run from hell thrown in because i proved to myself that i can make it to the end of the race even when i feel at my worst and there is no possible way my body can carry me. it was a true test of will power and i won! it was a learning experience and i now know i need to be fully attuned to my nutrition for future races. and i learned that the comfort of a friend can work miracles when you're at your absolute worst.
~danban
we set out from bri's house on thurs afternoon to hit up some food before heading our merry way to Tx for longhorn weekend. i was in a foul mood and the boys were kind enough to ignore my mood and continue on with the sarcastic comments until i couldn't help but join in! getting through the security line and checking in bags was far faster than we thought so we ended up goofing off in the terminal for a while before boarding. i sat next to ryan on the plane ride over and paul got to sit between bri and this dude who was large and in charge and insisted on sitting next to paul after questioning bri's story of saving the seat for someone. seriously hilarious!! anyway, had some good conversations with ryan and got some work done while listning to the new flogging molly albums ryan had given to me so all in all, good flight!
we get into Tx and there at the bottom of the escalators is katie b, momma brunner, and clara fay looking sleepy eyed but happy to see the lot of us. we chat a little, grab our bags, and hit the cars to find the hungry triathletes some food (cause we're always hungry!). we hit up taco bell - no, i didn't think it was such a great idea, and attempted to scarf our food asap so we weren't keeping katie b and fam waiting to guard our stuff too long. yes, it was apparently a neighborhood you don't just leave open luggage out for people to steal! we get out to bfe and the boys put their gear in the camper and head to the house where we meet mr. brunner and have a beer or two before hittin the hay.
friday turned out to be a lazy lazy lazy day for us that started with taco surprise - namely so because you never knew what kind of taco you were going to get when you plucked one out of the bag! we checked email, hung around, watched the new charlie and the choclate factory and eventually worked up the enthusiasm to go for a swim at the lake. the water was nice but NOT buoyant whatsoever! oh how we missed our wetsuits as we were struggling to tread water without salt to carry us to the top! after a short swim, we showered and went to greet tim who had just driven up from his new place in the south of austin. mr. b fried up some fish and okra for us for dinner and the 5 of us (paul, ryan, bri, tim, and myself) ended up drinking three 12 packs of shiner before hitting the hay! what can i say, we were carb loading :0) katie b got a little annoyed with us as she was attempting to solidify our plans for the next day but all we could focus on were our "special" needs :D
saturday was a different beast altogether! we got up early-ish to get out and going since we had a lot to be done before race morning prep at the hotel. we pulled ourselves together and marched out of the brunner house with our barney butter shirts on to get ourselves ready for the race. an hour and a half ish later we are at tim's new pad where we load our bikes so that we can haul them to the race site. we park the truck at race site (after tim banged a new hole in the budget rental) and headed to the expo. none of us were terribly impressed by the expo (it was tiny) but i did find the most beautiful tri bag and immediately bought it!! yes, i finally own a bona fide tri bag - guess i'm gettin serious about the sport! paul was a huge sweetie and bought us towls and we all grabbed some other t-shirts and schwag and all in all we made out like bandits!
we headed back to the race site to get our bikes prepped and racked for the race. tons of pics later (espcially by the "special needs" sign) we loaded up into the jeep and off we went to preview the course. this prooved to be no small feat as there were little to no street signs on the roads and we had to dodge all the potholes and rough road to find our way through the 56 miles we were to ride the next day. most of the terrible spots were highlighted in yellow paint but seriously, i was concerned about the rough pavement and the technicality of the road (lots o sharp turns). eventually we got ourselves good and lost enough that even the boys were willing to stop and ask for directions. here, i'll divert to ryan's explanation of our quest to find our way as he describes it so well:
We flagged down a lady who was out jogging and asked her how to get to Blake-manor Road, which would lead us to civilization, and most importantly, to dinner.
US: Excuse us, how do we get to Blake-manor Road?
Lady: Blake Manor road?
Us: Yes, please.
Lady: Well, you're on Ann Showers. Just keep going a couple miles and turn left on Damita Jo (ed. note: I am not making these street names up. the directions really did sound like a bad porn script.) So you turn left on Damita Jo, keep your doors locked, and (ed. note: the transcript ends here, because the SoCal city kids all pooped themselves.)
you can correctly guess that since i'm writing this post, that we kept our windows rolled up and our doors locked and sped as quickly as we could out of the backwoods of Tx that promised to swallow us whole! after our little adventure, we gave up on the rest of the course preview and decided to head to the hotel so we could get the crew gathered for dinner. after attempting to u-turn on the interstate (dont' ask), we made our way to the hotel and eventually to papadeaux's. now i wouldn't recommend eating cajun food for a pre-race meal, but that's exactly what we did! full tummies later and we hit our hotel to ensure that we were fully stocked and ready to rock the next morning at 4:30 am. i packed my beautiful new tri bag and eventually headed to a somewhat sleepless night next to tim. as all racers, i couldn't sleep for fear of missing something in my tri bag, not waking up on time, etc etc etc. sooner than i wished, race morning rolled 'round and like it or not we all got up and got ready for our race.
race morning:
i crawl out of bed and into my tri gear with my eyes as close to closed as they could possibly remain. grabbed my well packed gear and headed down to bri and ry's room to get some breakfast. the boys were barely up and their eyes managed to be more closed than mine! (i'm pretty sure ryan mastered the art of sleeping while meandering about) i threw some barney butter on my multi grain bread with some bananas and sat silently eating until katie b in her shining glory burst into song and into the room. not amused, i'm thinking "you need to shut up so i can at least have a pretense of still sleeping" but eventually her enthusiasm rubbed off on all of us and we finally woke up.
the trip to the race site wasn't bad and we got there in plenty of time to get our transition areas together. i spent some time with bg and with katie b but most of my time that morning was spent with tim. we walked back and forth to the truck a few times (the budget was still there for us) and eventually went on our pre-race warmup run. i finished my carbo pro and felt like i should have finished it sooner as my tummy was full. i grabbed the last of my stuff, made a last port-o-potty stop, and threw my post race clothes into the truck. by this point i'm alone and wandering to the start. i made it to the start as the first wave (bg's) goes off and i wander around looking for a friendly face and attempted to hide my belly (as i only had my tri bra on - the barney butter jersey has pockets and would've created a LOT of drag).
swim:
my wave went off and i was close to the back of the pack as i'm not a terribly strong swimmer. i allowed myself to go slowly at first so i could warm up my arms (stupid me didn't get in a pre-race warmup swim). there were a few people around me but i mostly stuck behind one girl and drafted her for a bit. eventually the next wave of people (men) caught up as the waves were only 3 mins apart and i got slighly pummled. i dunno why faster swimmers find it necessary to draft off of you then crawl over you in order to pass you. seriously - is it necessary when i obviously pose no threat to you breaking some sort of world record? i mean, i'd love to get out of your way but since i'm in front, i have NO clue you're there so PLEASE don't take it personally and set out for revenge. i'll gladly move as soon as i know you're attempting to tear off my timing chip!! anyway, the swim continue thus as a few more waves caught me and pummled me and i drafted off the same girl for most of the swim. it didn't feel terribly long or terribly short and i even had a nice burst of speed for what i considered the home stretch which is just past the second bouy that takes you on a straight away toward the swim finish. i felt pretty good exiting the water and kept looking for my super sherpa and the brunners. just before the transition area, i hear paul screaming "dana - look at me - dana - look at me!!"!! cracked me up and i had a smile on my face as i entered t1.
t1:
ran to my isle (between f and g - i remember cause i kept thinking fuckin go!) and look down to my transition mat and low and behold there are already goggles and a cap there. i got confused for a second and thought "i don't think i've already been here" then realized they weren't mine and someone around me had just plunked her stuff on my mat. i got over it really quickly and threw on my sunglasses, barney butter jersey, bike shoes, and helmet. ran toward the opposite end of the transition area and off to the bike course/obstacle course.
bike:
off i go and people are passing me left and right and i'm passing people (on the left of course!) all the while spinning and attempting to warm my legs up slowly but thoroughly for the challenge ahead. i was immediately glad that we'd trekked out to find the course (well as much as we could) cause i knew exactly where to slow and how to gear. this came in very handy when i hit one 90 degree right turn that went directly up a sharp but short hill. as we're approaching the hill, you can hear the volunteers yelling "slow - turn head. slow - bikers down"! wait......WHAT? yes, that's right bikers down!!!! i turned and saw 5 bikers down on the road and their friends stopped beside them yelling encouragement, other bikers having to go over the center line to avoid the downed bikers, some bikers having to traverse around rolling water bottles, and the whole thing seemed like a hilarious circus to me at that moment. i giggled, prepped my bike to shift easily up the hill, and powered up out of my saddle and put the whole carnival ride behind me.
all in all, the ride was very techincal, very pretty, and very much like an exterra race. there was at least on part of the course that i came upon that had a whole litter of 30 water bottles down so i knew immediately i had to slow or risk losing my own or my tires! speaking of - there were dozens of riders off to the side of the road with flat tires. some attempted to change their own and some just sat and waited for the mavic truck to show. the course also had some seriously rough road that would put my personal toyz to shame!!!! by the end of the bike, i was screaming at my aero bottle cause the bumps in the road were causing the lid to one of the containers to flop open. i think i freaked some bikers out cause i was yelling and hitting it until it stopped popping open! :D
another thing to note on this course was the complete lack of biking ediquette and rules displayed by those "competing" beside myself. i mean it was seriously sad to see......gu wrappers thrown on the ground, power bar wrappers tossed aside, water bottles by the numbers strewn around the course, and bikers riding in widths of up to 4. people were drafting left and right and it was hard to not be penalized on the course with the cluster fuck that people were causing by cruising next to their friends while chatting. i was utterly disappointed in those around me and their lack of race day ediquette.
in the end, ryan passed me and we hit the last two hills (where quadzilla resided) and rode into the bike dismount area. it was difficult to spin and loosen my legs for the run as the two hills were decently substantial and required some work to get to the top. i got in as much spinning and allowed as many people as possible to pass me while getting my legs ready for the run. during the ride i'd gotten in 4 gu's, 1 bottle of carbo pro, 1 bottle of ultima, and 5 salt tabs and i figured that was good to carry me through the run......boy was i wrong!
t2:
i had no major problems with t2 and didn't find any further gear that didn't belong to me in my spot. i did have a little difficulty finding the holder for my run bottle as someone had tossed it to the other side of the rack and i had to attempt to grab it without knocking over all the bikes on the rack (including my prescious Guru). i felt decent and was ready to hit the pavement (and dirt) for the run ahead.
run:
started off pretty well as i caught ryan and ran with him for a bit but by the secondish aid station (past the disco dancers) i headed off on my own. i started feeling just tired and achy at first. i mean like "i'm over this and ready for a nap" kind of tired which is not good considering around mile 4 i seriously considered stopping for a nap on the side of the road! i ran past the barney butter tail gate area and was greeted with a few cheers as i made my way toward quadzilla. i walked a few of the uphills until i'd hit quadzilla and then i seriously was brought down to a very pathetically slow walk as it was steep and my legs and body were starting to consider giving out on me. my legs were beginning to hurt because i'd allowed myself to walk too much and my knees were catching onto the fact that they were not happy with me in the least. my body was reacting badly because of the lack of water which has til now been so prevalent on my bikes and was not terribly well present that day. huge mistake on my part.
i get to the top of quadzilla and run into tim and start running with him for a bit til i feel like it's er time for the pr/er combo. i slow back to a walk and have 2 salt tabs and a gu. keep on walkin, takin water in, and putting cold sponges on my head to cool myself off. walking down hill toward the disco twins for the second time was my most dismal moment as i seriously felt that i wanted to curl up on the side of the pavement and pass the eff out. the only thing that kept me going (so not kidding) was the thought that i'd gotten that far and wouldn't get my finisher's metal. i kept my body going and ran into bg as he was heading toward mile 10 and i toward mile 8. i mumbled something about how terrible i felt and had to keep moving or i wouldn't make it and he looked at me with such concern and pity i left and kept on walkin. i figured i was in pretty bad shape at that point so i found the nearest port-o-potty and took a little pit stop to cool off and regain my bearings.
as i head back out on the "run" ryan catches up to me and we walk to what was the 2 mile turn around (i forget how far it is on the 2nd loop) where the saloon aid station was. we jog for a little while after that and i begin to feel a bit better (though seriously still delirious) and i am VERY blessed for the company. we eventually passed our team barney butter tail gate again and i think everyone thought i'd gone insane at that point as i'm screaming "where's my sherpa?? i want a beer!!!!" we continue on with our walk/run/walk/walk/shuffle/run/shuffle/walk routine while attempting to get me in under 7 hours. then we bargain that it's gotta be under my vineman time. shot that out of the water too and just bargained that i'd finish! he seriously was a huge part of the reason i was able to make it to the finish line that day and for that i am grateful!! thanks ryan :0) we run the last .1 to the finish line and get our pics taken just as ryan's legs fully give out on him and i'm screaming for my post race beer!!!! we find our teammates, have a beer, take a group pic and head off for food, shade, and beer.
the official stats:
Dana Banister #773
Cardiff By The S, CA
Age: 28 Gender: F
Distance | Long |
Clock Time | 7:25:50 |
Chip Time | 7:25:50 |
Overall Place | 1708 / 1929 |
Gender Place | 470 / 513 |
Division Place | 82 / 90 |
Swim 1 2Mi Rank | 1683 |
Swim 1 2Mi Time | 38:22 |
Swim 1 2Mi Pace | 1:59/M |
T1 Time | 03:32 |
Bike 56Mi Rank | 1440 |
Bike 56Mi Time | 3:17:59 |
Bike 56Mi Pace | 17.0mph |
T2 Time | 03:19 |
Run 13 1Mi Rank | 1798 |
Run 13 1Mi Time | 3:22:35 |
Run 13 1Mi Pace | 15:28/M |
post race:
we had some seriously good fajitas (courtesy of mr. b) champagne, and beer and relaxed util a volunteer told us we had to move our stuff from the transition area. we eventually head back to the hotel for showers, bike packing, relaxing, and of course foooooooood! we didn't end up heading out of the hotel and that turned out ok by me (well, katie b headed out for dinner but came back for some hang out time).
it was a great day even with the run from hell thrown in because i proved to myself that i can make it to the end of the race even when i feel at my worst and there is no possible way my body can carry me. it was a true test of will power and i won! it was a learning experience and i now know i need to be fully attuned to my nutrition for future races. and i learned that the comfort of a friend can work miracles when you're at your absolute worst.
~danban
10/2/08
i feel a change in the wind
i just was sitting here thinking about how there are things in my life that i need to shift and change. i need to begin to focus on gooooooood things. lavaman - my favorite race - is coming up and i am not going to miss it. i haven't missed it once in the past three years and it's time for my fourth round in hawaii! there are too many good memories and too many things i have yet to do while there so i refuse to miss it. and i'm excited about cal half training with melissa and cindy coming up. i'm exicted about working with coach bri and getting faster and stronger in my training. i'm ready for changes and i've decided the funk is over! i will make the most of longhorn and it will be great to see the mocks. sarah is going to be in town soon for my b-day and i couldn't be happier!! no worrying for me any longer, i'm done with my pity party and i'm ready for change and gooooooood times!
~danban
~danban
gdi once again......
long horn is this coming weekend. we're going to get on a plane at 4pm sd time today. all i can say is at this point, i'm excited to see the mock's! startin to feel like a horses ass for signing up for this one. shoulda called uncle a while ago though i just kept trudging through the workouts all the while beating myself up for not training enough. i'm not excited about this. i'm not feeling the team spirit. i'm just ready to get it over with. i'm not expecting McCalle to make it to the race cause of the hurricane and lily. i'm hoping my mood will change when i get there but at this point, i'm focusing on work cause when i get back there is going to be a lot expected of me so i gotta study up. good luck team barney butter - i'm sure i'll see you out there.
~danban
~danban
9/22/08
i was a training machine
this weekend full o training was quite surprising considering my foul moods as of late and my general frustrations with myself. i got in on friday night after a week in pittsburgh which was not the most exciting of times but not bad either. i'm finally feeling better but now acclimated to the east coast times so i'm 
exhausted by the time i get in and get home. i barely stumble around my apartment getting stuff ready for saturday including our train times, txt'ing ryan, and writing down directions so we're not lost in LA! got to sleep finally around 9:30 (yes, i've turned into granny banny but whatevs) and was well rested for saturday morning.
saturday morning rolls around and i'm up at 6:15 and feeling good (still remnants of the east coast time otherwise i'd be dragging i promise). i grab my gear and head to the train station cause i know we have to be on the platform pretty early to catch the train. ryan and i got our stuff together and go to buy tickets and the ladies tell us "good luck catching the train"
right as the whistles are blowing and the train is pulling up! we haul as much ass as we can in bike shoes across the bridge and make it down the elevator and onto the train just before it's getting ready to leave. good thing too cause we'd be waiting for another hour if we hadn't caught it!! the train ride was nice and it was good to have that time to make sure everything was prepped.
the ride down from capistrano was actually a lot more fun than i thought especially considering we were going into headwinds the entire ride. when we rode through pendleton we even thought about commandeering a
tank, dodging a few rounds, and hitting up some of the obstacle courses!! we rode through a party in oceanside and thought about stopping for a beer and having bri pick us up! we added the rancho santa fe loop in to make the mileage more like 60 though with a few twists and turns we ended up doing more lik 65 - oops!! ryan was great company the whole time and i learned a lot more about him and how much more similar we are than i previously thought. after our ride we hit up B&L after a long convo with some TNT'ers and i got some snazzy new sunglasses since i lost mine in pittsburgh somewhere. i swear i never leave that place and am able to spend less than $100. i gotta stop going there!! ryan and i then hit up chief's for some frings and burgers where katie b joined us to have a glass of tea. all in all, great afternoon!
headed home after the ride and got cleaned up to go to paul's party only to find out on my way there that i was going to be retardedly early cause bri had the time mixed up! we hung at jenn's a bit then bri and i headed to the LLS office to get his bike back. coach g and a few of the crew was there to chill with until the bikes arrived. i begged iris into going back to jenn's though on the way we had to pause for a little shoppin in honor of paul's b-day!
we had some turkey tacos and marty brought some ribs and it was generally a phenomenal evening until b.gunn went a little overboard with a gold bikini (yes, there are proof pics and no i will not post 'em!)!! the boys were a little too enthusiastic about it so bri went and changed. i ended up at home somewhere around 10:30 and off to sleepy town cause sunday promised to be HUGE!
i awoke at quarter til 7 and started to get ready for my long run. i knew my route as i'd looked up the extra 3 miles i thought i needed to make a 13 mile excursion i was about to embark on. with everything absolutely necessary for this journey, i headed out around 7:30 and began my trek slowly as to warm up since it was a tiny bit chilly out. with my new sunglasses on my vineman visor and my
zoots on my feet i flew down to leucadia and felt gooooood! my legs were warmed up and i didn't feel the need to do any stretching as is usually my deal between miles 1 and 2. i hit the hills of leucadia and felt a little of the fatigue that was inevitable from the 65 miler on saturday but still felt pretty good! i cruised on down to starbucks off of el camino to refill water and had a few gu's on the way and never felt terribly fatigued. around the 5 overpass at manchester i finally felt it.....overwhelming leg fatigue that i'd attributed to the bike ride and it's hills. it was a creeping feeling that i ignored for a long while and then it just built until it was a bit of a struggle to keep running when i hit my 3 mile extension back up toward encinitas. i was actually hurtin when running back from H street and found myself struggling to run down hill!! i made it through without any major complications and overall it was a great run with a few bumps and bruises but i was no worse for the wear and tear.
i headed over to the filpi's for d's birthday, mimosas, beer, and football. i seriously heart haging out with these two!! lots of food and relaxation and lots of comments on my insanity
and it finally dawns on me that i should check my actual mileage. i couldn't believe my eyes when i'd mapped out my course.......i'd managed to talk my legs into 15.6 miles!!!! i'd accidentally overshot my run by 2.6 miles! cb asked me today how that was even possible and honestly it's cause i'd though the loop up to leucadia and down to manchester was only 10 miles when in fact it was much closer to 12......oops!!!!
phenomenal weekend pople, phenomenal weekend :0)
~danban
exhausted by the time i get in and get home. i barely stumble around my apartment getting stuff ready for saturday including our train times, txt'ing ryan, and writing down directions so we're not lost in LA! got to sleep finally around 9:30 (yes, i've turned into granny banny but whatevs) and was well rested for saturday morning.saturday morning rolls around and i'm up at 6:15 and feeling good (still remnants of the east coast time otherwise i'd be dragging i promise). i grab my gear and head to the train station cause i know we have to be on the platform pretty early to catch the train. ryan and i got our stuff together and go to buy tickets and the ladies tell us "good luck catching the train"
right as the whistles are blowing and the train is pulling up! we haul as much ass as we can in bike shoes across the bridge and make it down the elevator and onto the train just before it's getting ready to leave. good thing too cause we'd be waiting for another hour if we hadn't caught it!! the train ride was nice and it was good to have that time to make sure everything was prepped.the ride down from capistrano was actually a lot more fun than i thought especially considering we were going into headwinds the entire ride. when we rode through pendleton we even thought about commandeering a
tank, dodging a few rounds, and hitting up some of the obstacle courses!! we rode through a party in oceanside and thought about stopping for a beer and having bri pick us up! we added the rancho santa fe loop in to make the mileage more like 60 though with a few twists and turns we ended up doing more lik 65 - oops!! ryan was great company the whole time and i learned a lot more about him and how much more similar we are than i previously thought. after our ride we hit up B&L after a long convo with some TNT'ers and i got some snazzy new sunglasses since i lost mine in pittsburgh somewhere. i swear i never leave that place and am able to spend less than $100. i gotta stop going there!! ryan and i then hit up chief's for some frings and burgers where katie b joined us to have a glass of tea. all in all, great afternoon!headed home after the ride and got cleaned up to go to paul's party only to find out on my way there that i was going to be retardedly early cause bri had the time mixed up! we hung at jenn's a bit then bri and i headed to the LLS office to get his bike back. coach g and a few of the crew was there to chill with until the bikes arrived. i begged iris into going back to jenn's though on the way we had to pause for a little shoppin in honor of paul's b-day!
we had some turkey tacos and marty brought some ribs and it was generally a phenomenal evening until b.gunn went a little overboard with a gold bikini (yes, there are proof pics and no i will not post 'em!)!! the boys were a little too enthusiastic about it so bri went and changed. i ended up at home somewhere around 10:30 and off to sleepy town cause sunday promised to be HUGE!i awoke at quarter til 7 and started to get ready for my long run. i knew my route as i'd looked up the extra 3 miles i thought i needed to make a 13 mile excursion i was about to embark on. with everything absolutely necessary for this journey, i headed out around 7:30 and began my trek slowly as to warm up since it was a tiny bit chilly out. with my new sunglasses on my vineman visor and my
zoots on my feet i flew down to leucadia and felt gooooood! my legs were warmed up and i didn't feel the need to do any stretching as is usually my deal between miles 1 and 2. i hit the hills of leucadia and felt a little of the fatigue that was inevitable from the 65 miler on saturday but still felt pretty good! i cruised on down to starbucks off of el camino to refill water and had a few gu's on the way and never felt terribly fatigued. around the 5 overpass at manchester i finally felt it.....overwhelming leg fatigue that i'd attributed to the bike ride and it's hills. it was a creeping feeling that i ignored for a long while and then it just built until it was a bit of a struggle to keep running when i hit my 3 mile extension back up toward encinitas. i was actually hurtin when running back from H street and found myself struggling to run down hill!! i made it through without any major complications and overall it was a great run with a few bumps and bruises but i was no worse for the wear and tear.i headed over to the filpi's for d's birthday, mimosas, beer, and football. i seriously heart haging out with these two!! lots of food and relaxation and lots of comments on my insanity
and it finally dawns on me that i should check my actual mileage. i couldn't believe my eyes when i'd mapped out my course.......i'd managed to talk my legs into 15.6 miles!!!! i'd accidentally overshot my run by 2.6 miles! cb asked me today how that was even possible and honestly it's cause i'd though the loop up to leucadia and down to manchester was only 10 miles when in fact it was much closer to 12......oops!!!!phenomenal weekend pople, phenomenal weekend :0)
~danban
9/19/08
not so bad
so i went swimming yesterday and for the first time in a long time it really wasn't so bad. i was swimmin in a pool in pittsburgh and lost myself in concentrating on my stroke. i was thinking about how to make it comfortable yet be uncomfortable the way that luke wants it to be and the next thing i knew i had NO clue how long i'd been in the water and what distance i'd swum. i stopped and stretched for a bit and then kept on goin. i think i was in the water for sometime over an hour and felt good about it. i still need to get the hand thingies that luke recommends and some new goggles but i am on the right swimming track these days which is beyond refreshing since i'm not a huge fan of it :0)~danban
9/16/08
a small little p.s.
after reading the last couple of posts you may think that i'm not happy at the moment but no, i am not depressed or upset. just thinking and writing and pondering and wondering and attempting to figure it out on blog. read it if you want but it's merely an internal reflection as all of my posts are.
~danban
oh and a bit of motivation just hit my door from cb's quote......it does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop (confucius)
~danban
oh and a bit of motivation just hit my door from cb's quote......it does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop (confucius)
wipeout
i heart wipeout. i know it's goofy and stupid but it's HILARIOUS. it's one of the few things that i've found that consistently makes me laugh out loud. there are lots of comedies that are rated as phenomenal and people talk incessantly about how they laughed out loud but i usually find them dumb or just ok. but wipeout is a whole other beast! it reminds me of the stuff on q4 and the sheer stupidity of the obstacles these people put themselves through makes me holler with laughter! i seriously almost pee my pants when i watch it!
for no reason in particular it makes me think of the obstacles that people throw in their own paths. no, i'm no exception and i fully am aware of the blocks i stick in front of my own face. i have a tendency to be far too hard on myself in many respects. yes, i should take it easy on myself but this is the way i've kept myself motivated and continue to attempt to better myself and situation in life....by challenging myself. maybe i am a bit harsh though it's been difficult lately to not be for no particular reason. i am not at all good at expressing my emotions or talking to people about how i'm feeling and i have a tendency to end up pushing people away cause they end up getting bored or annoyed with me. it's on par with taking compliments for me - i'm just not good at either. these are things i'm working on yet for some odd reason i just don't seem to be getting out of my own way. none of this quite makes sense cause lately i've been feeling lonely even in a crowd though i don't know who to turn to because i refuse to really talk about it. kinda stupid and funny if you think about the overall picture. i refuse to talk to people yet i feel lonely. one hell of a conundrum isn't it?!
so i find that i've been overcommitting myself so that i don't find myself in that lonely place yet it's one that can't really be avoided no matter how hard i try. cause it's not the company on the outside that i'm craving it's the acceptance within to just be myself even by myself. i think i've just exhausted myself with too many obligations and not allowed myself the time to sit and relax and breathe for even a moment. which just leaves me wiped out in the literal sense. kind of a confusing loop isn't it?! well, it's going to change becuase i am tired of it. just be patient cause it's going to be a slow meander as i often tend to do and please don't take it personally if i seem like an ass from time to time. i probably don't even know i'm behaving that way!
~danban
for no reason in particular it makes me think of the obstacles that people throw in their own paths. no, i'm no exception and i fully am aware of the blocks i stick in front of my own face. i have a tendency to be far too hard on myself in many respects. yes, i should take it easy on myself but this is the way i've kept myself motivated and continue to attempt to better myself and situation in life....by challenging myself. maybe i am a bit harsh though it's been difficult lately to not be for no particular reason. i am not at all good at expressing my emotions or talking to people about how i'm feeling and i have a tendency to end up pushing people away cause they end up getting bored or annoyed with me. it's on par with taking compliments for me - i'm just not good at either. these are things i'm working on yet for some odd reason i just don't seem to be getting out of my own way. none of this quite makes sense cause lately i've been feeling lonely even in a crowd though i don't know who to turn to because i refuse to really talk about it. kinda stupid and funny if you think about the overall picture. i refuse to talk to people yet i feel lonely. one hell of a conundrum isn't it?!
so i find that i've been overcommitting myself so that i don't find myself in that lonely place yet it's one that can't really be avoided no matter how hard i try. cause it's not the company on the outside that i'm craving it's the acceptance within to just be myself even by myself. i think i've just exhausted myself with too many obligations and not allowed myself the time to sit and relax and breathe for even a moment. which just leaves me wiped out in the literal sense. kind of a confusing loop isn't it?! well, it's going to change becuase i am tired of it. just be patient cause it's going to be a slow meander as i often tend to do and please don't take it personally if i seem like an ass from time to time. i probably don't even know i'm behaving that way!
~danban
9/15/08
lone ranger and her tonto
one of the worst decisions i've made in a while was to do the great western loop this past weekend after being sick all week. we start off and we head back toward the west (we're taking it counter-clock wise) and i'm actually feeling pretty good. i'm having no problems keeping up with katie b and chris and i feel bad cause i'm leaving joanna by herself. i felt bad mostly cause i kept saying how i was going to probably be keeping her company the whole time blah blah i'm so slow blah blah blah and i found myself actually keeping pace if not breaking to stay with katie b and chris! i hadn't expected it and attributed it to my Guru getting a tune up at B&L!! then as we're movin and it seems to still be around the flat-ish parts of the ride i find that all of a sudden i can't keep up and i'm weezing and my legs aren't working any longer. so i instinctively look down at my bike and think, WTF? i'm positive that it has to be my bike and then i realize that it's user error and that it's my body that's now refusing to go and this is baaaaaaad news considering we're not even a quarter into one of the hardest rides a cyclist can undertake in the southern cali area. now joanna is passing me and i'm starting to get frustrated. i talk myself down and realize that it has to be my lungs refusing to work after being down all week and i'm mentally kicking myself for not going solo on the coast. we hit the hills and i'm done. i mean physically my body refuses to respond to what my mind is telling me we HAVE to do. i'm actully contemplating turning around, getting back into my car, and driving back to the coast to ride solo.
i power on and i'm by myself through the first of the inclines. i'm trying to keep just a steady pace and get my legs to warm up/find a rythm. i'm seriously having problems keeping myself on my bike and have concerns that my legs won't carry me up the hill when i reach the top and see the others just past the stop sign. i've fully prepared myself to ride solo the whole time so i see this as an unnecessary stop on their part and get a little flustered cause i wanted to take this at my own pace considering my pace is slower than normal. this is one of the times where riding solo probably would have been beneficial to those around me. i blow past 'em and katie b asks if i want to stop or if i've even had nutrition. at this point, i already want to get the ride over with so i yell NO and keep on truckin so my legs don't get the impression it's ok to stop. when they catch up, it's just past one incline and around the bend to another so i stop and attempt to let them pass and katie b got the impression i was upset so she stops and i really really just wanted to keep going so i attempt (very out of breath) to convince her i'm fine and just want them to go ahead and pass me cause i don't want to worry about it on the incline where there is NO shoulder and no clue if cars will be approaching. i finally get them going and start up after them and convince my legs once again it's ok to keep on keepin on.
it was a struggle to keep my legs pumping and there were actually moments when i wanted to get off my bike and just effing walk but as stubborn as i am i wouldn't let myself do that so i made it up every inclide and was not happy during any single moment of it. there were even moments of concern that i would just fall over on my bike and not make it through the whole ride! this was monumentally difficult as i've never ever ever ever felt any of this stuff before cause i've always been easily able to tackle anything even with a bitch and a whine. this was beyond my physical ability and became a pure testiment of will. i blew by the crew again at a little country store and again katie b implored me to stop though i really really really didn't want to cause i wasn't sure how much was left in my legs, will power, or mental stability at that point. she screamed about how we were half way and it was all down hill from there and i screamed back "except for this fuckin hill in front of me" as i'm dreading the next incline.
i ride on and on and on and keep wondering when they're going to catch up cause i knew they were gonna yet they never did. so i reach the top of a nice steep incline and stop to make sure i know the directions. i wait for a few minutes and they still haven't shown so i turn around disparing that i've missed the turn and will have to back track and cover more mileage than my legs are willing. after a few miles i see them and curse a LOT cause i was on the correct route and now i have to backtrack again which my legs are NOT happy about considering the incline i now have to climb again. i make sure to be in the back of the pack again and climb again. i'm doing ok until i go to get a drink out of my water bottle and the entire lid comes off and spills half of my remaining water on the ground. i curse and seriously drop my spirits as i'm about 10 ft from the top of the hill again. i get going after a bit of screaming and begin to cry in dispair as i'm seriously not sure any longer that my legs and will can propel me forward. i have never cried on my bike before but i am in dispair at this point and all alone. it dawns on me as i see that the crew is at least 3 miles ahead of me that this reflects so many moments in my life when i've had to mentally move myself forward when i felt i could no longer move. i've had to go solo and get myself out of a tough situation. i've had to rely on myself to just get over it and make it through whatever i felt was insurmountable. and it dawns on me that will probably always be the case and i'd better get used to it. harsh but that's my life. so i keep on truckin and of course i made it through my mental barriers and my physical ones. again, the stubbornness kicks in!
we eventually make it back to the cars and i'm exhausted but katie b wants me to go with to another tri club bbq. i'm not so sure about this but i say ok so we head to my place for a quick shower and change. we make it to don's and a lot of people are there and have been drinking for quite a while. the bbq actually was ok, i talked with a few people (some odd some ok) and had some good food. katie b and i were eventually freezing and headed to my place to change but we got a little comfy and tired and decided to have a salad and chill at my place with a movie and sleep.
sunday we had some breakfast and ended up strolling down to see a surf competition and attempt to get in touch with the boys to see how they did at their races. we walked back to b&l to see if they had our shoes and ended up hanging out with momo for a while. eventually we head to my place and i go back to b&l to drop off my bike for the week (they're gonna baby sit him and show him some love :0) i seriously didn't feel like hanging out again with katie b and crew so i ended up running that evening for about 7.5 to 7.75 miles at a decent pace. got some laundry done and packed for pittsburgh.
interesting weekend and lots to mull over.
~danban
i power on and i'm by myself through the first of the inclines. i'm trying to keep just a steady pace and get my legs to warm up/find a rythm. i'm seriously having problems keeping myself on my bike and have concerns that my legs won't carry me up the hill when i reach the top and see the others just past the stop sign. i've fully prepared myself to ride solo the whole time so i see this as an unnecessary stop on their part and get a little flustered cause i wanted to take this at my own pace considering my pace is slower than normal. this is one of the times where riding solo probably would have been beneficial to those around me. i blow past 'em and katie b asks if i want to stop or if i've even had nutrition. at this point, i already want to get the ride over with so i yell NO and keep on truckin so my legs don't get the impression it's ok to stop. when they catch up, it's just past one incline and around the bend to another so i stop and attempt to let them pass and katie b got the impression i was upset so she stops and i really really just wanted to keep going so i attempt (very out of breath) to convince her i'm fine and just want them to go ahead and pass me cause i don't want to worry about it on the incline where there is NO shoulder and no clue if cars will be approaching. i finally get them going and start up after them and convince my legs once again it's ok to keep on keepin on.
it was a struggle to keep my legs pumping and there were actually moments when i wanted to get off my bike and just effing walk but as stubborn as i am i wouldn't let myself do that so i made it up every inclide and was not happy during any single moment of it. there were even moments of concern that i would just fall over on my bike and not make it through the whole ride! this was monumentally difficult as i've never ever ever ever felt any of this stuff before cause i've always been easily able to tackle anything even with a bitch and a whine. this was beyond my physical ability and became a pure testiment of will. i blew by the crew again at a little country store and again katie b implored me to stop though i really really really didn't want to cause i wasn't sure how much was left in my legs, will power, or mental stability at that point. she screamed about how we were half way and it was all down hill from there and i screamed back "except for this fuckin hill in front of me" as i'm dreading the next incline.
i ride on and on and on and keep wondering when they're going to catch up cause i knew they were gonna yet they never did. so i reach the top of a nice steep incline and stop to make sure i know the directions. i wait for a few minutes and they still haven't shown so i turn around disparing that i've missed the turn and will have to back track and cover more mileage than my legs are willing. after a few miles i see them and curse a LOT cause i was on the correct route and now i have to backtrack again which my legs are NOT happy about considering the incline i now have to climb again. i make sure to be in the back of the pack again and climb again. i'm doing ok until i go to get a drink out of my water bottle and the entire lid comes off and spills half of my remaining water on the ground. i curse and seriously drop my spirits as i'm about 10 ft from the top of the hill again. i get going after a bit of screaming and begin to cry in dispair as i'm seriously not sure any longer that my legs and will can propel me forward. i have never cried on my bike before but i am in dispair at this point and all alone. it dawns on me as i see that the crew is at least 3 miles ahead of me that this reflects so many moments in my life when i've had to mentally move myself forward when i felt i could no longer move. i've had to go solo and get myself out of a tough situation. i've had to rely on myself to just get over it and make it through whatever i felt was insurmountable. and it dawns on me that will probably always be the case and i'd better get used to it. harsh but that's my life. so i keep on truckin and of course i made it through my mental barriers and my physical ones. again, the stubbornness kicks in!
we eventually make it back to the cars and i'm exhausted but katie b wants me to go with to another tri club bbq. i'm not so sure about this but i say ok so we head to my place for a quick shower and change. we make it to don's and a lot of people are there and have been drinking for quite a while. the bbq actually was ok, i talked with a few people (some odd some ok) and had some good food. katie b and i were eventually freezing and headed to my place to change but we got a little comfy and tired and decided to have a salad and chill at my place with a movie and sleep.
sunday we had some breakfast and ended up strolling down to see a surf competition and attempt to get in touch with the boys to see how they did at their races. we walked back to b&l to see if they had our shoes and ended up hanging out with momo for a while. eventually we head to my place and i go back to b&l to drop off my bike for the week (they're gonna baby sit him and show him some love :0) i seriously didn't feel like hanging out again with katie b and crew so i ended up running that evening for about 7.5 to 7.75 miles at a decent pace. got some laundry done and packed for pittsburgh.
interesting weekend and lots to mull over.
~danban
9/11/08
much gratitude
i've been in a sour mood as of late.....well, just moody in general and in my current sickly drug educed state it occurs to me that i have a hell of a lot to be grateful for these days and i just wanted to share that with everyone out there.
i have the most amazing best friend in katie b who is willing to put up with my whining, encourage me when i'm kicking myself in the gut, listen when i need an ear, find a tissue when i need to break down into tears, high five when the run gets tough, beach cruise even when the drunkness prohibits it, and make soup when i feel terrible even though i'm sick enough i can't sit and enjoy it with her. she has endless patience with me and for that i am forever surprised, grateful, and overjoyed. i am blessed to have her in my life and i'm SURE she knows that her friendship and love mean the world to me :0)
i have another amazing best friend in b.gunn who has endless patience and will stay up to the wee hours of the night chatting or watching heroes with me. he is my gps when i get lost, my 411 when i need a number, a willing ear to listen when i just wanna gab, and a great training partner who is willing to hang out with me when i'm having a bad training day. thanks b.gunn!!
i have phenomenal co-workers who keep me sane through this ever stressful work environment. we help each other when we need a laugh, we help each other find a solution when it seems impossible, we pour on the vodka when someone can't taste enough, and we are strong support when someone is down. they are a wonderful place for support and laughter and i am blessed to have found such a crew to become my family!!
i have a truly amazing family who is as diverse as the rainforest!! we are well traveled, we have our bumps and bruises, we have the gnarliest of fights, yet through it all we stand as a family through thick and thin. they may not always seem present though they are there should i actually decide to pick up the phone. i don't know that i tell them often enough how much they mean to me.
i choose to surround myself with the utmost loving, hilarious, steadfast, and most unpredictable crew of friends who constantly keep me on my toes and a smile on my face. and in that crowd there is one that keeps me grounded more than most. he reminds me that a little trouble in my life is a good thing and that there is a world beyond that which i ball my stress and frustrations into. he reminds me that it is a good thing to let go and just relax sometimes. i can completely be me with him and i cannot express my gratitude to him. for the others in the crowd, they are as much my support as i hope i am for them. i know that at times i am not the best at keeping in touch though i am always here for a laugh or a hug :0)
i hope that this post finds all of you well and happy on this day of rememberance and thankfulness. i know that this day can be very touchy for some though i like to think of it as a day to be grateful for those who are here with me now.
with much love,
~danban
i have the most amazing best friend in katie b who is willing to put up with my whining, encourage me when i'm kicking myself in the gut, listen when i need an ear, find a tissue when i need to break down into tears, high five when the run gets tough, beach cruise even when the drunkness prohibits it, and make soup when i feel terrible even though i'm sick enough i can't sit and enjoy it with her. she has endless patience with me and for that i am forever surprised, grateful, and overjoyed. i am blessed to have her in my life and i'm SURE she knows that her friendship and love mean the world to me :0)
i have another amazing best friend in b.gunn who has endless patience and will stay up to the wee hours of the night chatting or watching heroes with me. he is my gps when i get lost, my 411 when i need a number, a willing ear to listen when i just wanna gab, and a great training partner who is willing to hang out with me when i'm having a bad training day. thanks b.gunn!!
i have phenomenal co-workers who keep me sane through this ever stressful work environment. we help each other when we need a laugh, we help each other find a solution when it seems impossible, we pour on the vodka when someone can't taste enough, and we are strong support when someone is down. they are a wonderful place for support and laughter and i am blessed to have found such a crew to become my family!!
i have a truly amazing family who is as diverse as the rainforest!! we are well traveled, we have our bumps and bruises, we have the gnarliest of fights, yet through it all we stand as a family through thick and thin. they may not always seem present though they are there should i actually decide to pick up the phone. i don't know that i tell them often enough how much they mean to me.
i choose to surround myself with the utmost loving, hilarious, steadfast, and most unpredictable crew of friends who constantly keep me on my toes and a smile on my face. and in that crowd there is one that keeps me grounded more than most. he reminds me that a little trouble in my life is a good thing and that there is a world beyond that which i ball my stress and frustrations into. he reminds me that it is a good thing to let go and just relax sometimes. i can completely be me with him and i cannot express my gratitude to him. for the others in the crowd, they are as much my support as i hope i am for them. i know that at times i am not the best at keeping in touch though i am always here for a laugh or a hug :0)
i hope that this post finds all of you well and happy on this day of rememberance and thankfulness. i know that this day can be very touchy for some though i like to think of it as a day to be grateful for those who are here with me now.
with much love,
~danban
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