ignoring it apparently doesn't make it go away

this is true both of work and my stupid knee lately. so in the first case, i'm getting slaughtered at work. in a 3 day period, i worked a total of 43 hours and was sick during the time. i don't say this to brag cause believe me i wish i wasn't necessary to be there that long. it turns out yet again that the resource problem we've been having at work has bitten me in the ass. i hate the fact that i'm letting co-workers down by not keeping up with everything that's been on my plate. i overlook little things that turn into big things because i've put them off so long due to emergencies flaming up all around and then the little things turn into new fires to be put out. i've been beyond overwhelmed and have even cried at work due to frustration. i am only one person and i haven't been able to do everything that's been requested of me. i've let some friendships lapse because of work and even training has taken a down turn. there's got to be a balance and i'm striving to find it at the moment.

secondly, my knee is not getting better. it's been over two weeks since i tweaked it and today's run proved that it's not strong by any stretch of the imagination. i won't be surprised if tomorrow it's swolen again and needs the stupid brace to keep it stable again. i've put off seeing Dr. M again cause of the above paragraph and the fact that the pain keeps on keepin on tells me that ignoring this one is no longer an option. i've lapsed on my peak week of training and will now see the consequences of it during my race if i make it that far.

and just to add icing to the cake, i had oral surgery this past friday with consequences i didn't foresee. i actually paid someone to drill into my jaw bone and received nothing more than mouth wash and motrin. geeeeee thanks.

on the plus side, work HAS to dwindle soon and i WILL see Dr. M this coming week when i get back from the frozen tundra. this too shall pass and i shall be all the better of it i'm sure. for those of you i've negated, my apologies and i'll be found again soon i swear. thanks for your continued patience.

~danban

retardedness in the pool

my swim on tues was ridiculous.......completely ridiculous! so, i get to the pool and change quickly to get to the pool. the far left lane was open so i decide against my better judgement to use that one cause it's open. i say against my better judgement because the last few times i've been in this lane at this time of day (approx 6pm) i've run into a series of unfortunate incidents with elderly men who take it as their absolute right to be able to use the area at the base of the stairs as their space to tread water whenever the fuck they feel like it. so against my senses i decide why not?! i get in and do my 400 warm up and stop for a 10'' breather to check what i need to be doing next and when i turn around there is this elderly asian man treading water over 3/4 of the lane and he just looks stupidly up at me like wtf are you gonna do bout it?!! so i start off on my main set only to find that there's another elderly gentleman that decided to swim in the lane with me and is doing basically a frog kick. i attempt to get around him and managed to get kicked, maneuver myself half way under the lane line and into the lane to the right. i make it to the end of the pool and come back for my first 50 and find that the lane lines are disappearing!! oh fuck - water aerobics class :( shit shit shit!!

i hit the hot tub for a little bit and find that in 10 mins of the class only 4 people have shown. i ask the instructor who asks the class if it's ok that i take the last half of the back lane. she's fine with it and the class agrees and i'm off again! i'm swimming through a washing machine HATING it the whole time but thinking it's good practice for race day. all of a sudden i notice two new people have joined the class and the pudgier lady in the back has now taken it as her personal affront that i'm swimming during her class and thus proceeds to attempt to force me out of the pool by crowding my back half of the back lane. i'm practially swimming on pavement at this point but swim on non-the-less when to my chagrin there they are........dreadded foot cramps! shit shit shit!! well, at this point my spirit is pretty broken and i am afraid i'm going to have another foot episode like the last cramps that left me massaging my foot on the side of the pool for 15-20 minutes so i haul my butt out of the pool to the great satisfaction of the portly lady.

i only got in 1/3 of my planned swim but all things considered, i'm proud of the accomplishment!

~danban

plans for the new year

that's right people, i have BIG plans for the new year and you are welcome to hear all about them :0)


1. lots and lots o races including (but not limited to): carlsbad half, bulldog road race, cal half iron, la jolla half, vineman half iron, afc half........all in prep for my first IRONMAN in 2010!!!! and i will complete one half iron in six hours or less and complete a half marathon in two hours or less!

2. snowboard as often as my budget will allow - now that i have my new snazzy snow boarding boots :0)

3. cook 1 new recipe a week - gotta get in some more variety!

4. kick mark's ass on the new year's bet

5. cheer my head off as my best friend finishes her first IRONMAN!

6. finally get the last o the dental stuff done that i've been dreading for years - hey, never said all the big things i'm doing this year were fun or exciting!! :P

7. actually HOST a gathering at my place now that i have a new, comfy couch (aka lots of sitting space)

8. going to use my surfboards FAR more than i did this past year cause after all....i AM a californian now :0)

9. i vow to balance my budget and keep to a plan - gotta save for that house ya know?!

10. i promise to return your email, text, call, letter, etc. i know i've been hit or miss on replying to people and that is going to change!

well, they may not be that exciting to everyone but they are important things for me to achieve this year :0) i have a feeling that this is going to be a phenomenal year and a year of great change and you're welcome to join me in any part of what i want to accomplish throughout the year. in fact, your participation would be most welcome! i hope you're planning on making this a great year too and feel free to let me know how i can support you in creating something phenomenal this year!!

much love,
~danban

making sense of it

all around me are familiar faces
worn out places
worn out faces
bright and early for their daily races
going nowhere
going nowhere

it's the year's end and inspiration for reflection is all around. how do we make sense of the chaos of daily life? how do we find purpose in the small things, humor in the most unlikely of places, and the determination to make it through days doing chores that in the end really only result in a thought....an idea....just more data.... we forge through to find the "dream". we're searching for happiness but where have others found it? is it in your dreams? is it behind the couch? is it yet another idea or ideal held close to the heart?

we look for solace in relationships with others and through that within ourselves. but what happens when that person is no longer there? what happens when the shoulder you turned to is no where to be found? we're amazing creatures who change and adapt with our surroundings yet never seem to forget or forgive the past no matter how much we want to. so the question is, can you accept what has been and use it to create better things in the future? is that the dream or just a way to survive the passing days?

such questions and thoughts swirl through my brain and i answer some and leave others to ponder for another day. in the end, i know i choose to live life to the fullest i see fit and what works for me may not work for you. i hope that those who i love know it even if i don't say the words often enough. those who are no longer with me are always in my thoughts and the impact they've left will not be forgotten. this time of year is about love and hope......keep those things in your heart the whole year through and the days are more than bearable.....they're actually enjoyable.

~danban

my first official crash.....kind of.....

sunday i talked ryan into riding sleeping indian with myself, cynthia, coach bri, and melanie. this hill is one of two that have kicked my ass. this time i intended to bite back........little did i know i was in for an ass whoopin again! we start out from cindy's and it's too foggy to tackle the hill right away so we hit up the bike path and i blast away attempting to get my legs warm in the freezing ass morning air. i didn't actually realize i was going that fast until there was no one behind me and i figured i should tone it down a notch since my legs weren't actually warming up. i spun my way back down the bike path toward where we turned to get onto the route to sleeping indian and slowed my pace to re-group with the crew. at this point, my legs are warm but telling me that they are tired and that this may be a little more difficult of a ride than i thought.......ut oh!!

we head up sleeping indian and it begins......calf cramps.....oh goody!! so i make it up 3/4 of the first hill and have to stop cause i'm in serious pain. massaged the legs out for a moment and muscle on! up the hill i go again except i'm almost to the top when my front wheel hits the side of the curb, my right foot is unclipped, and i'm falling to the left......SHIT!! i somehow manage to maneuver myself up and around and over my bike so as not to actually land on it and end up banging the shit out of my legs (lots of insta bruises) and ripping the hell out of my tricep with my chain ring (no, a group of 4 scientists with a month couldn't figure out how the hell i managed all that)!!
i sprung up immedately since i didn't want to get hit by any car charging up the hill and struggle my way down to the driveway i'd left not too terribly long ago. first things first, i check my bike for any visible injuries........nothing springs to the eye so onto step two. check the wheels - are they spinning? NO! shit!! have to re-adjust the front and rear breaks and check the whells again - still problems! SHIT!! fuck it......get going up the hill again and make it to the very top (no, i'm not terribly bright apparently). i make it to the top and ryan's sitting on a rock waiting for my injured ass to tell him wtf i'd done and if we needed to call sag (cindy's husband).

ryan and i proceed to fix the front and back breaks and attempt to go on with the ride. two seconds after we start out again, i realize something is seriously wrong and rubbing on my front wheel. we climb back off the bikes and find that the front wheel is rubbing on the fork - BIG problem!! we re-adjust that and the front breaks yet again and my seat (cause it was seriously jacked up) and attempt to ride again. at this point my full borne stubbornness kicks in and i decide we're doing most of this fuckin ride cause i didn't go through the trouble of having my bike kick my ass and NOT get in a ride!! (sorry ryan!!) we hit some nice big rollers and i lost ryan a few times when his legs refused to go much further and eventually we turned around at mission and headed back. we got back to cindy's and i played ball with fletcher a bit before we headed out to get some food and laugh over the idiocy of the morning.

so, first official crash kind of........i mean it was more comical than most and less terrifying than a lot so i figure i got out pretty well unscathed all things considered!! i was mostly just bummed that i'd fucked with my bike and that i didn't actually get to ride with coach brian at all during the course of the morning. the good news is Eneko is fine with some new bartape and that i'm pretty well unscathed all things considered :0)

~danban

total insanity.....count me in

this weekend was ironman arizona and i had several friends (including my coach) racing in it. katie b, myself, ryan, and jo all trekked out to tempe to watch and for some of us, consider what our own experience of an ironman might be like.......

to start, the four of us adamently agreed that arizona will not be in the cards for any of us anytime ever! the reason being that we went out to preview the loop and were bored out of our sculls!! i even spaced out for a bit, ended up slowing to a retarded gonna fall off my bike speed, and almost lost the crew on a straight flat road! it was VERY difficult to make ourselves keep going the 25 out and 25 back as we were just over it! and just to make matters a tiny bit worse, it was rediculiously dry out there!! long story short, we all agreed should anyone stupidly decide it is a good idea to sign up, the others of the group get to punch that person silly!!

the swim started in the water and was a thing not to be missed. 2400 people all treading water then BAM gun goes off and they all begin swimming like a gigantic sea creature with 4800 arms and legs! this start (affectionately called the washing machine by most triathletes) is not something i'm looking forward to. there are two philosophies of this type of start and how best to deal with it......1. get to the front of the pack and sprint then keep a steady (speedy) pace to stay ahead of most of the pack and 2. start toward the back and eventually make your way to the middle/front of the pack. i am all about #2 as i do not want to get crawled on top of by hundreds of stronger swimmers! there's no need to put myself through that. regardless, the swim start was amazing to see and inspired some serious thought.

i felt for the competitors as they were looping and looping through the bike course as i knew what a long boring course they had ahead of them. it was interesting to see the degredation of attitudes of those racing as they rounded for the second loop vs the third loop. i attempted to put myself in their shoes and continued to think of denner's blog about his ironman and came to the realization that a lot of them fell into the classic blunder of playing to the crowd and/or their own egos in that they kept pumping out some serious speed when the crowd was near. you could tell those who pushed too hard vs those who were taking their pace and settling into it. i think mentally, it would have been difficult to have done the three loops as you could see some people's spirit fall a bit when so many were going into t2 while they were going out for loop 3.

the run was a show of pure will and determination. i don't recall seeing very many people smile, in good spirits, or showing much emotion past pain. for the most part, the competitors were focused on the task at hand (keep moving one foot in front of the other) and didn't really pause to pay attention to anyone or anything outside of their own two feet. we cheered for almost everyone and got a couple of thank yous and a lot gratification for the fact that someone unknown to them believed that they really could do it. i know know how much more i need to focus on my running and ensure that i will be ready for this last and mos difficult battle in the quest to hear the announcer say "danban, you ARE an Ironman!"

talked to coach after he finished (a rockstar finish of just over 10 hours) and he asked if i have the ironman fever. i thought about it for a sec and told him that i'm considering 2010 and that i know i want to build my base, speed, and tolerance for the next year before committing to something so monstrous. he thought that was a phenomenal idea! so 2010...... maybe new zealand..... we shall see.........!!

~danban

what kind of friend?

this one was too good not to pass on to all of you.......my friends :0)

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!



A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..



A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.



A simple fri end brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.



A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.



A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.



A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.



A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!




It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.
Today I pass this on to you.. Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you..




When you are down to nothing ....
God is up to something.

'Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.'

~danban