i'm sure it'll all work out after i've had more sleep. it started with thurs night. i was all over the place and could barely pack. was doing laundry, attempting to figure out my race stuff, keep katie b and bri on track to get to my place, talk with everyone i needed to for work before i left, and attempt to keep my sanity in place. i was a wreck! so the laundry got done, katie b and bri got there around 10, and katie b started her laundry. a lot of packing, talking, and laundry later we went to sleep around 1.
the alarm goes off at 3am. yes, 3AM!! i am by no means amused. we snooze to 3:15 and absolutely have to get up. up and barely functioning, we manage to pull all our stuff together and pack it into bri's suv. he's the first to drive and i to keep him awake. katie b is in the back seat 
with all our stuff and slept since she kept getting up throughout the two hours to finish laundry. the drive was rough since we were SO tired and around 6:30 we stopped for starbucks and breakfast. but since nothing can ever be simple, the first one didn't have the breakfast wraps! so down the road we went and the next one had our breakfast so we paused for a moment then shoved on. bri and i stayed up and drove the 5 which is barren and brown while katie b snoozed on and off. i have to admit, i am NOT a fan of bri's selection of music. he's got a ton of eclectic craziness with a few goodies thrown in. i am definitely thrown back into the 80's a time or two throughout the time his music is playin. eventually, we stop for a bathroom break, get some gas and i start drivin and
drivin and drivin and drivin and drivin. eventually katie b and bri sleep and i am alone with my thoughts. a terrible mood ensues as i think back to last year and why i didn't do this race and of course i am crying and alone though not alone. lots of time to think, almost no sleep, headaches off and on, NO appetite do not make for a very nice danban. we stopped at whole foods and i was beyond overwhelmed with the amount of people, the decisions i needed to make, and definitely a lack of food in my stomach though no appetite to fill it. the trip to whole foods did not go well and i feel bad that bri had to witness my little flip out moments there. we made it to guerneville eventually, unpacked eventually, tina and jason showed eventually, and we went to bed somewhere around 11. sandra and i did manage to drive through the bike course and saw how good/bad the road is and some phenomenal scenery in the area. by the time i got offline and closed my eyes i was practically delirious and no picnic to be around.
this mornin we woke up around 7:30 and had some breakfast before heading to the river. 
swimming in the river was SO refreshing and calmed me down a bit so i'm glad we spent the time to do it. we had our wetsuits on and it really wasn't too terribly warm so i think tomorrow morning will workout just fine. we ran into some others that we know that are doing the race and it was good to see some more friendly faces. we also managed to make a good luck video post card to denden for his lake placid ironman!! we headed back to the cabin and hung our suits up to dry and packed up our run stuff to take to T2 post expo. the expo took forever but we got some gooooood info for the race and i got to see some interesting pics. i am retardedly excited about the schtuff i got there and now have to make it through the race so i can wear it!! we're back at the cabin, i've had a bit to eat but will eat mor
e soon. i'm SO exhausted. no amount of mascara can mask the sleepy eye today. thinkin about takin a nap, going to eat some serious pasta, gonna sit in the hot tub, gonna get in some serious stretchin, gonna prep the bike and swim stuff for tomorrow, and gonna calm my head and brain and enjoy the time here. cause this is what all the training is about. it's about getting to this point where i can sit back, relax, know that what will happen tomorrow will happen, enjoy the people around me and the experiences here, and KNOW that i will be a half ironman finisher before this time tomorrow afternoon.
no matter what i feel/think/fear/hope for tomorrow, i will finish and i will make the absolute most of it. Tim is with me and tomorrow we will have the times of our lives :0)
ciao for now
~danban
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