uuummmm - excuse me?

there is this completely bizarre situation that i find myself in as of late. those who know me and talk to me on a regular basis know the particulars. what i found is this: i chose to be swept up into someone else's drama based on something that started out as me supporting someone else. i find it truly amazing how a whirlwind such as this person has accumulated and created SO much drama in such as short time. i mean it really is like a hurricane at this point!! it's funny to take a step back and realize that no matter how retarded the whole situation seems, it really is not that important in the grand scheme of things cause life just keeps on movin on. i mean yes, your drama means what it means to you but the impact i choose to let it have on my life is my own. and as of yesterday i choose out of this particular crazy person's reality of life. i've realized there is absolutely NO reason on this planet that i should allow someone else's reality dictate how i behave. i will not change who i am and how i choose to live my life to accommodate this person. life is about compromise and choices and for those i truly care about, i will go to the ends of the earth and beyond. and i know that you would too. i trust you and i love you and i know you know i am forever here for you. this particular crazy; however, no longer deserves the time or investment to assist the situation she is creating because she has proven time and time and time and time again that while she'll pretend to hear what is said and pretend to want to change and then turn right around and do whatever she wants to do anyway. someone like that is not the kind of person who will EVER be someone i could rely upon and i need more support in my life than those who need to be babysat or tip toed around. enough. the fact that this person chooses to believe the terrible things she's made up about my character only speaks to me about the terrible ugliness she chooses to keep in her life. to imagine that someone who has been nothing but support to you would take information you gave in confidence and use it against you, makes me horribly saddened that such a tale could be dreampt of and yet those are the charges laid against me without proof. well i'm not going to waste my time fighting that battle because it is a battle of one person against herself. i - the danban - am not truly who the anger and terrible stories are pitted against. she is raging against herself and i will no longer choose to play into that losing hand of poker. i choose a different game and my game is one with love, support, generosity, and faith. i gotta say, i feel monumentally better to have taken a step back, looked at this situation with a fresh set of eyes, and chosen to walk away from it. and that in and of itself, speaks volumes to me about how i was putting myself through my own type of battle. well i'm putting away my hammer thank you! this month is difficult enough without unnecessarily adding someone else's pain on top of my own. i have my own deamons to fight and i know i am not alone. thank you katie b. thank you sarah b. thank you brandon b. thank you to all of those who have listened and let me rant. the rant stops here!! if you hear me raging again, please feel free to smack me in the forehead and tell me to stop it immediately :0)

this is a weekend of fun and family and friends and i say let's tackle that!! let's go out and spend time with the people we choose to keep in our lives because they are special to us. i choose to tell my loved ones that i am truly blessed to have them in my life. i am ridiculously excited to get to spend time with each and every one of you. because this time of the year reminds me that i will never know when you might be taken from my life. you are all too important to me to not tell you so!! so, to those who i will not see tomorrow......have a KICK ASS 4th and i will talk to you soon. otherwise, i'll tackle ya when i see ya and give ya a huge hug so be prepared!!!!

MUCH love and appreciation
~danban